1 00:00:36,667 --> 00:00:38,666 Nobody tells Harold brownlow he can't get what he wants. 2 00:00:38,667 --> 00:00:42,041 Those city hall assholes are a bunch of blowhards! 3 00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:43,666 I don't understand why 4 00:00:43,667 --> 00:00:46,416 we can't get a cab like normal people. 5 00:00:46,417 --> 00:00:48,541 Hilary dear, 6 00:00:48,542 --> 00:00:51,582 you don't get as rich as I am by giving money away to cab drivers. 7 00:00:53,375 --> 00:00:56,417 Besides, our hotel is just at the other end of this alley. 8 00:00:58,667 --> 00:01:00,999 You're such a cheapskate. 9 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:02,708 Come on, woman. 10 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:06,249 Watch your step! 11 00:01:08,292 --> 00:01:10,541 Harold, I don't like this place. 12 00:01:10,542 --> 00:01:12,624 It smells bad. 13 00:01:12,625 --> 00:01:14,791 Jesus, it's a 100 yards. 14 00:01:14,792 --> 00:01:16,541 Hold your nose or something. 15 00:01:16,542 --> 00:01:18,916 Harold? 16 00:01:18,917 --> 00:01:20,082 Huh? 17 00:01:21,542 --> 00:01:24,791 Boy! You're a big son of a bitch, ain't ya? 18 00:01:26,042 --> 00:01:27,917 Hilary. Call a cab. 19 00:02:27,083 --> 00:02:30,249 J' is it all in my mind j“ 20 00:02:30,250 --> 00:02:33,416 j' I can feel the heat j' 21 00:02:33,417 --> 00:02:35,874 j“ I'm getting hotter than fire I 22 00:02:35,875 --> 00:02:38,499 j“ from my head down to my feet j" 23 00:02:38,500 --> 00:02:40,582 j" 'cause I'm burning up j“ 24 00:02:40,583 --> 00:02:42,666 j " burnin' up j" 25 00:02:42,667 --> 00:02:45,624 j' burnin' up tonight I 26 00:02:45,625 --> 00:02:48,749 -j' burnin' up I -j' burning up I 27 00:02:48,750 --> 00:02:52,916 j“ burnin' up, all right j' 28 00:02:52,917 --> 00:02:55,874 j' I'm not feeling so well I 29 00:02:55,875 --> 00:02:58,707 j" I'm feeling hotter than hell I 30 00:02:58,708 --> 00:03:02,624 j' I think I got a fever j' 31 00:03:02,625 --> 00:03:05,791 j' I'm begging you please, girl j' 32 00:03:05,792 --> 00:03:08,041 j' I can't cool down j' 33 00:03:08,042 --> 00:03:11,082 j' you're spinning me around, and around j" 34 00:03:11,083 --> 00:03:16,124 I and I can't fight the ways to get to you I 35 00:03:16,125 --> 00:03:18,416 j" 'cause I'm burning up j“ 36 00:03:18,417 --> 00:03:21,082 j " burnin' up j" 37 00:03:21,083 --> 00:03:24,666 j“ burning up, tonight j“ 38 00:03:24,667 --> 00:03:27,249 -j' burnin' up I -j' burning up I 39 00:03:27,250 --> 00:03:29,624 j“ burnin' up, all right j' 40 00:03:29,625 --> 00:03:31,666 I I'm burning up j' 41 00:03:31,667 --> 00:03:33,957 j " burnin' up j" 42 00:03:33,958 --> 00:03:35,458 j“ burning up, tonight j“ 43 00:03:37,042 --> 00:03:40,749 -j' burnin' up I -j' burning up I 44 00:03:40,750 --> 00:03:43,250 j' burning up, all right j“ 45 00:04:03,958 --> 00:04:05,082 Hoy-hoy! 46 00:04:45,625 --> 00:04:46,833 Hi-ya! 47 00:04:54,750 --> 00:04:56,499 Stay down! 48 00:04:56,500 --> 00:04:59,250 Automated defense protocol initiated. 49 00:05:28,792 --> 00:05:29,957 Ya! 50 00:05:44,583 --> 00:05:46,208 Burn in hell, ninjas! 51 00:06:03,917 --> 00:06:05,500 No! 52 00:06:11,542 --> 00:06:13,208 Damn you, akumu! 53 00:06:13,958 --> 00:06:15,208 Damn you! 54 00:06:27,292 --> 00:06:29,583 Okay. Let's do this. 55 00:06:32,083 --> 00:06:34,082 I'm here with governor atkins 56 00:06:34,083 --> 00:06:36,416 outside pompadour's international circus 57 00:06:36,417 --> 00:06:39,124 as it prepares for a midnight performance tomorrow night, 58 00:06:39,125 --> 00:06:40,707 in aid of the city's homeless 59 00:06:40,708 --> 00:06:42,957 and organized by the governor himself. 60 00:06:42,958 --> 00:06:45,624 Good morning, governor, and thank you for joining us. 61 00:06:45,625 --> 00:06:48,416 My pleasure Dolly, as always. 62 00:06:48,417 --> 00:06:50,582 Governor, what do you say to your critics 63 00:06:50,583 --> 00:06:53,041 who say this humanitarian gesture of yours 64 00:06:53,042 --> 00:06:55,957 is simply a smokescreen designed to mask 65 00:06:55,958 --> 00:06:59,041 some of your more puritanical policies? 66 00:06:59,042 --> 00:07:02,874 The tabloids can call me a puritan if they so wish. 67 00:07:02,875 --> 00:07:04,416 Ah-ha! 68 00:07:04,417 --> 00:07:05,749 But it's just a reactionary insult 69 00:07:05,750 --> 00:07:07,499 due to my zero tolerance stance 70 00:07:07,500 --> 00:07:09,416 on anti-social behavior. 71 00:07:09,417 --> 00:07:12,666 I'm referring to the abuse of alcohol in our society. 72 00:07:12,667 --> 00:07:14,791 Someone has to put their head 73 00:07:14,792 --> 00:07:16,832 above the parapet, Dolly. 74 00:07:16,833 --> 00:07:18,832 Which is why under my tenure as governor, 75 00:07:18,833 --> 00:07:21,916 I will be seeking to restrict the opening times of bars 76 00:07:21,917 --> 00:07:24,916 and nightclubs together with limits on the sale of alcohol. 77 00:07:24,917 --> 00:07:27,457 If that makes me a puritan, then so be it. 78 00:07:27,458 --> 00:07:29,082 Remember, only together, 79 00:07:29,083 --> 00:07:32,249 can we make this world a better place. 80 00:07:32,250 --> 00:07:34,207 I'm ready when you are. 81 00:07:37,583 --> 00:07:39,041 Fuckin' clowns. 82 00:07:39,042 --> 00:07:40,291 All of 'em. 83 00:07:49,833 --> 00:07:51,249 Hey! 84 00:07:51,250 --> 00:07:53,041 You been shooting the appliances again? 85 00:07:53,042 --> 00:07:55,041 - Give us a kiss! - Must be the roaches. 86 00:07:55,042 --> 00:07:56,541 They've started packing heat. 87 00:07:56,542 --> 00:07:58,707 Any damage and I'm adding it to your rent! 88 00:07:58,708 --> 00:08:00,666 Which is now overdue, by the way. 89 00:08:00,667 --> 00:08:02,291 You'll get your money, gussman. 90 00:08:02,292 --> 00:08:03,957 Now get out of my face. 91 00:08:03,958 --> 00:08:06,000 You goddamn pervert! 92 00:08:06,042 --> 00:08:07,917 Give us a kiss! 93 00:08:13,792 --> 00:08:15,207 Hey, hero. 94 00:08:15,208 --> 00:08:17,332 Spare some change for an old vet? 95 00:08:17,333 --> 00:08:18,374 You again? 96 00:08:18,375 --> 00:08:19,916 Here's a quarter. 97 00:08:19,917 --> 00:08:21,792 Buy yourself some pants and binaca spray. 98 00:08:25,792 --> 00:08:27,207 This man bothering you, sir? 99 00:08:27,208 --> 00:08:29,082 Ha! 100 00:08:29,083 --> 00:08:30,166 Who's asking? 101 00:08:30,167 --> 00:08:31,541 Name's koslowski, sir. 102 00:08:31,542 --> 00:08:33,082 Captain schitt sent me to meet you. 103 00:08:33,083 --> 00:08:34,416 I'm your new partner. 104 00:08:34,417 --> 00:08:35,750 0h, Jesus. 105 00:08:39,208 --> 00:08:42,249 Do you have any words of wisdom for a rookie like me, sir? 106 00:08:42,250 --> 00:08:43,999 Sure. Work hard. Eat your Greens. 107 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:45,749 And never stick your dick in a mangle. 108 00:08:45,750 --> 00:08:47,042 Wait! What? 109 00:08:47,083 --> 00:08:48,333 Yeah! 110 00:08:54,167 --> 00:08:56,791 Jesus h. Christ on a hippity-hop. 111 00:08:56,792 --> 00:08:58,874 What the hell is going on in this city? 112 00:08:58,875 --> 00:09:01,124 That's the twelfth disappearance in as many weeks. 113 00:09:01,125 --> 00:09:03,832 At least this time we have a witness, sir. 114 00:09:03,833 --> 00:09:05,542 If she ever comes round. 115 00:09:06,833 --> 00:09:08,249 Shit! Not again! 116 00:09:08,250 --> 00:09:11,499 Goddamn it! Where the hell is steel!? 117 00:09:11,500 --> 00:09:13,541 Um, I think he's breaking in that 118 00:09:13,542 --> 00:09:15,332 new partner you sent him, sir. 119 00:09:15,333 --> 00:09:17,375 Hmm. I wonder how that's working out? 120 00:09:20,917 --> 00:09:23,083 Probably quite badly. 121 00:09:53,917 --> 00:09:56,166 Can I just say it's a real honor to work with you, sir. 122 00:09:56,167 --> 00:09:58,208 Okay, let's get one thing straight, kid. 123 00:10:01,375 --> 00:10:02,916 I don't like you. 124 00:10:05,625 --> 00:10:06,999 Who the fuck is this guy? 125 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:08,749 And before you start, 126 00:10:08,750 --> 00:10:10,830 it's not because you're a rookie or any of that crap. 127 00:10:12,833 --> 00:10:15,667 The fact is I don't much like anybody. 128 00:10:19,250 --> 00:10:21,749 I know what you're thinking. 129 00:10:21,750 --> 00:10:24,124 You're thinking that this tough exterior 130 00:10:24,125 --> 00:10:25,541 is just my way of... 131 00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:27,708 Breaking in a new partner 132 00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:34,541 and that after a while, the bickering 133 00:10:34,542 --> 00:10:36,457 and mutual dislike of each other 134 00:10:36,458 --> 00:10:38,624 will turn into admiration, 135 00:10:38,625 --> 00:10:41,167 and who knows, maybe even respect. 136 00:10:44,542 --> 00:10:46,750 Well, I got news for you, butthorn. 137 00:10:48,083 --> 00:10:50,167 That ain't gonna happen, you hear me? 138 00:10:52,333 --> 00:10:53,958 Sweet baby Jesus! 139 00:10:56,833 --> 00:10:59,207 I'm a Maverick, renegade, 140 00:10:59,208 --> 00:11:00,457 - loose Cannon... - Look out! 141 00:11:00,458 --> 00:11:02,499 Lone wolf cop on the edge. 142 00:11:02,500 --> 00:11:04,583 Who doesn't play by the rules 143 00:11:07,833 --> 00:11:09,374 and I work alone! 144 00:11:09,375 --> 00:11:11,417 - Got it? - Uh-huh. 145 00:11:14,500 --> 00:11:15,916 Oh, and it's probably a good idea 146 00:11:15,917 --> 00:11:17,958 - to get your affairs in order. - Huh! 147 00:11:23,750 --> 00:11:25,582 Say goodbye to loved ones and so forth. 148 00:11:30,125 --> 00:11:32,542 My partners don't exactly have a long shelf life 149 00:11:32,583 --> 00:11:34,125 if you know what I mean. 150 00:11:36,667 --> 00:11:37,875 Oh! 151 00:11:39,708 --> 00:11:40,957 Don't do drugs. 152 00:11:47,375 --> 00:11:49,124 What the hell is wrong with you? 153 00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:50,750 Anyway, enjoy the ride! 154 00:12:03,333 --> 00:12:04,625 So. We clear? 155 00:12:05,625 --> 00:12:06,707 Uh-huh! 156 00:12:09,458 --> 00:12:11,499 What the hell were you thinking?! 157 00:12:11,500 --> 00:12:13,832 Do you have any idea how much damage you caused? 158 00:12:13,833 --> 00:12:15,499 More than a little but less than a lot? 159 00:12:15,500 --> 00:12:16,957 Have you read this?! 160 00:12:16,958 --> 00:12:18,499 "Beleaguered police captain Jack schitt 161 00:12:18,500 --> 00:12:20,499 about as much use as a chocolate condom!" 162 00:12:20,500 --> 00:12:22,624 That's harsh. And a little racist. 163 00:12:22,625 --> 00:12:24,541 You're lucky I don't assign you to desk duties! 164 00:12:24,542 --> 00:12:26,666 Come on, captain. The last time I picked up a pen 165 00:12:26,667 --> 00:12:28,416 it was to stab a rapist in the nut sack! 166 00:12:28,417 --> 00:12:30,832 I mean it, steel! You're this close to being gone. 167 00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:33,124 - On what grounds?! - Listening to hair metal 168 00:12:33,125 --> 00:12:35,124 in that souped-up penis extension of yours 169 00:12:35,125 --> 00:12:36,957 and really shitty driving! 170 00:12:36,958 --> 00:12:39,249 What the hell happened to you? You used to be one of us! 171 00:12:39,250 --> 00:12:41,332 Out there kicking ass and taking names! 172 00:12:41,333 --> 00:12:42,624 Now you just sit behind that desk 173 00:12:42,625 --> 00:12:44,041 sticking pencils up your ass! 174 00:12:44,042 --> 00:12:45,874 I do not stick pencils up my ass! 175 00:12:45,875 --> 00:12:47,874 And koslowski!? I mean, come on! 176 00:12:47,875 --> 00:12:49,541 How many partners is that!? 177 00:12:49,542 --> 00:12:51,374 The kid just wasn't ready for the mean streets! 178 00:12:51,375 --> 00:12:52,999 Steel, he shot himself. 179 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:54,792 Damn rookies! 180 00:12:54,833 --> 00:12:56,624 This lone wolf bullshit of yours has gone on long enough. 181 00:12:56,625 --> 00:12:59,791 You will work with a partner even if it kills me! 182 00:12:59,792 --> 00:13:01,624 - Shit. - The whole precinct 183 00:13:01,625 --> 00:13:03,374 threatened to walk out if I tried to partner you 184 00:13:03,375 --> 00:13:05,374 with any more of them so I've had to go further afield. 185 00:13:05,375 --> 00:13:07,041 You have a choice, a Swedish female recruit 186 00:13:07,042 --> 00:13:09,124 from the cultural exchange program, 187 00:13:09,125 --> 00:13:11,624 a hyperactive monkey called Mr. Giggles, 188 00:13:11,625 --> 00:13:14,749 or the office cheese plant! Your call! 189 00:13:14,750 --> 00:13:16,291 This is fuckin' stupid. 190 00:13:16,292 --> 00:13:17,791 Okay, I'll work with a partner 191 00:13:17,792 --> 00:13:19,582 if you go one round of "face or balls". 192 00:13:19,583 --> 00:13:21,832 Damn it, steel! I don't have time for this shit! 193 00:13:21,833 --> 00:13:23,249 Face or balls. 194 00:13:23,250 --> 00:13:24,499 Okay. 195 00:13:24,500 --> 00:13:26,207 It'll have to be face. 196 00:13:26,208 --> 00:13:28,333 My wife is starting to wonder why my balls are blue. 197 00:13:30,500 --> 00:13:32,332 Yeah! 198 00:13:32,333 --> 00:13:34,375 Okay, steel. Pick a partner! 199 00:13:34,417 --> 00:13:37,082 I guess I'll go for the Swedish broad. 200 00:13:37,083 --> 00:13:38,957 You can send her in now. 201 00:13:50,583 --> 00:13:52,041 Hi, welcome to the team. 202 00:13:52,042 --> 00:13:54,082 No Chuck, that's Gloria, my new secretary. 203 00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:55,791 That's your new partner. 204 00:13:55,792 --> 00:13:56,957 Oh! 205 00:13:56,958 --> 00:13:58,791 Huh? 206 00:13:58,792 --> 00:14:00,166 I work alone! 207 00:14:00,167 --> 00:14:02,707 Steel, say hello to officer Ingrid klutz. 208 00:14:02,708 --> 00:14:04,207 Is the monkey still an option? 209 00:14:04,208 --> 00:14:05,249 Nope. 210 00:14:06,833 --> 00:14:07,958 Hello? 211 00:14:08,583 --> 00:14:10,707 Yes. 212 00:14:10,708 --> 00:14:13,041 Yeah? Well, fuck you, too! 213 00:14:13,042 --> 00:14:14,666 That was the hospital. 214 00:14:14,667 --> 00:14:16,143 Billionaire industrialist, Harold brownlow 215 00:14:16,167 --> 00:14:17,791 disappeared last night 216 00:14:17,792 --> 00:14:19,166 and his wife was chased not oncoming traffic. 217 00:14:19,167 --> 00:14:21,082 Seems she's regained consciousness. 218 00:14:21,083 --> 00:14:22,749 This is serious, steel. 219 00:14:22,750 --> 00:14:24,082 Brownlow was a personal friend of the governor. 220 00:14:24,083 --> 00:14:25,749 That guy's a goddamn lizard! 221 00:14:25,750 --> 00:14:27,207 Damn it, steel! 222 00:14:27,208 --> 00:14:28,666 I am not in the mood for your another one 223 00:14:28,667 --> 00:14:30,332 of your paranoid conspiracy theories 224 00:14:30,333 --> 00:14:32,249 about how the world is being run by shape shifting 225 00:14:32,250 --> 00:14:33,874 illuminati lizards from another dimension! 226 00:14:33,875 --> 00:14:35,207 Do you hear me?! 227 00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:36,791 You'll be sorry. Mark my words. 228 00:14:36,792 --> 00:14:38,291 Get your ass over to the hospital 229 00:14:38,292 --> 00:14:39,624 and get the wife's story. 230 00:14:39,625 --> 00:14:41,041 We need to find whoever did this 231 00:14:41,042 --> 00:14:42,832 or the governor's gonna have my ass! 232 00:14:42,833 --> 00:14:45,624 Don't worry, captain, your ass is safe in my hands. 233 00:14:45,625 --> 00:14:46,874 No, wait a second... 234 00:14:46,875 --> 00:14:48,375 Get out of here! 235 00:14:50,542 --> 00:14:52,207 I'd open a window if I were you. 236 00:14:52,208 --> 00:14:54,166 One more thing, steel. 237 00:14:55,583 --> 00:14:57,166 Do these pants make my ass look big? 238 00:14:59,792 --> 00:15:01,749 Hey, what are you doing? 239 00:15:01,750 --> 00:15:04,291 I'm a very important person! 240 00:15:05,708 --> 00:15:08,332 This place is a fucking freak show. 241 00:15:08,333 --> 00:15:10,082 Ah, officer steel. 242 00:15:10,083 --> 00:15:11,791 I've been meaning to find you. 243 00:15:11,792 --> 00:15:13,416 You missed our session again. 244 00:15:13,417 --> 00:15:15,124 Blow it out your ass, chump knuckles! 245 00:15:15,125 --> 00:15:18,499 You can't keep avoiding me, officer steel! 246 00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:20,499 Okay, let's get one thing straight. 247 00:15:20,500 --> 00:15:22,207 I don't like you. And before you start, 248 00:15:22,208 --> 00:15:24,791 it's not because you're a woman or any of that horse shit. 249 00:15:24,792 --> 00:15:26,624 The fact is I don't much like anybody. 250 00:15:26,625 --> 00:15:28,541 I know what your thinking, you're thinking that 251 00:15:28,542 --> 00:15:30,666 this tough exterior... 252 00:15:30,667 --> 00:15:32,249 Is just my way in breaking in a new partner 253 00:15:32,250 --> 00:15:33,750 and after a while, the bickering... 254 00:15:35,875 --> 00:15:38,792 Dr. Rosenpenis to proctology. 255 00:15:38,833 --> 00:15:41,042 Calling doctor rosenpenis. 256 00:15:42,417 --> 00:15:44,041 Hi, I'm Chuck steel. 257 00:15:44,042 --> 00:15:45,791 This is my partner Ingrid klutz. 258 00:15:45,792 --> 00:15:48,291 Work partner! No way would I touch that! 259 00:15:48,292 --> 00:15:49,666 Hell no. 260 00:15:49,667 --> 00:15:52,624 Um, I'm here to see Mrs. Brownlow. 261 00:15:52,625 --> 00:15:54,041 Room seven. 262 00:15:54,042 --> 00:15:55,332 Across the hall. 263 00:15:55,333 --> 00:15:56,957 Say, sweet cakes, 264 00:15:56,958 --> 00:15:58,916 how about when I'm done here we go out somewhere? 265 00:15:58,917 --> 00:16:00,874 I know a great monster truck festival. 266 00:16:00,875 --> 00:16:02,124 I'm busy. 267 00:16:02,125 --> 00:16:03,332 What about Monday? 268 00:16:03,333 --> 00:16:04,749 I'm filing my tax return. 269 00:16:04,750 --> 00:16:05,957 Tuesday? 270 00:16:05,958 --> 00:16:07,291 I'm burying my dog. 271 00:16:07,292 --> 00:16:08,707 Wednesday? 272 00:16:08,708 --> 00:16:10,999 Wednesdays, I stick pins in my ass. 273 00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:13,166 You're trying to tell me something aren't you? 274 00:16:15,583 --> 00:16:17,667 Call for back up, lesbian! 275 00:16:25,042 --> 00:16:26,417 Help! 276 00:16:27,458 --> 00:16:28,957 Freeze, fudge sucker! 277 00:16:28,958 --> 00:16:30,708 - Huh? - Huh? 278 00:16:31,875 --> 00:16:34,167 Die, harlot of darkness! Die! 279 00:16:43,375 --> 00:16:45,207 You're busted, slime ball! 280 00:16:45,208 --> 00:16:47,707 Uh, somebody's used this. 281 00:16:47,708 --> 00:16:50,832 Well, thanks for the speedy back up, Igor! 282 00:16:56,708 --> 00:16:58,291 Okay, old man, start talking! 283 00:16:58,292 --> 00:17:00,249 You have made a terrible mistake. 284 00:17:00,250 --> 00:17:01,957 That lady must be destroyed! 285 00:17:01,958 --> 00:17:05,082 According to immigration, you are one Abraham Van rental. 286 00:17:05,083 --> 00:17:06,707 That your real name? 287 00:17:06,708 --> 00:17:08,291 She has been bitten. 288 00:17:08,292 --> 00:17:10,291 In a few hours, her transformation will be complete 289 00:17:10,292 --> 00:17:12,957 and she will be consumed with an unholy bloodlust. 290 00:17:12,958 --> 00:17:14,457 Okay... 291 00:17:14,458 --> 00:17:17,082 Tell me, you've heard of vampires, no? 292 00:17:17,083 --> 00:17:18,332 Sure. 293 00:17:18,333 --> 00:17:19,957 But have you ever heard of... 294 00:17:19,958 --> 00:17:22,291 Trampires?! 295 00:17:22,292 --> 00:17:23,874 You mean like a woman who tears out your heart 296 00:17:23,875 --> 00:17:25,332 and sucks you dry? 297 00:17:25,333 --> 00:17:26,749 Um, no. 298 00:17:26,750 --> 00:17:28,457 I mean tramps in the sense of hobos, 299 00:17:28,458 --> 00:17:30,416 derelicts, stinky street folk, you know. 300 00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:32,541 Not tramps as in harlots or ladies of the night, 301 00:17:32,542 --> 00:17:34,582 although they, too, can be affected. 302 00:17:34,583 --> 00:17:36,166 Anyway, I digress... Where was I? 303 00:17:36,167 --> 00:17:37,332 Trampires? 304 00:17:37,333 --> 00:17:38,416 Ah, yes. 305 00:17:38,417 --> 00:17:40,374 Trampires are an aberration. 306 00:17:40,375 --> 00:17:42,167 Half vampire, half tramp. 307 00:17:42,208 --> 00:17:44,416 Although in this country, I think you call them bums, 308 00:17:44,417 --> 00:17:46,291 but bumires doesn't make any sense. 309 00:17:46,292 --> 00:17:48,249 We wouldn't want that now. 310 00:17:48,250 --> 00:17:51,957 Many centuries ago in transylvania, 311 00:17:51,958 --> 00:17:54,082 vampires ruled over the land. 312 00:17:54,083 --> 00:17:56,166 They were the aristocracy of the time 313 00:17:56,167 --> 00:17:59,207 and they fed off the blood of the peasants without question. 314 00:17:59,208 --> 00:18:02,082 But, around 1400 ad 315 00:18:02,083 --> 00:18:04,374 everything got a bit PC 316 00:18:04,375 --> 00:18:07,416 and their way of life was deemed unacceptable. 317 00:18:07,417 --> 00:18:09,749 Ooh! 318 00:18:11,583 --> 00:18:13,541 They were driven out and destined to spend eternity 319 00:18:13,542 --> 00:18:15,874 wandering the land as reviled outcasts... 320 00:18:15,875 --> 00:18:17,541 Up yours! 321 00:18:17,542 --> 00:18:19,166 Condemned to a life of darkness 322 00:18:19,167 --> 00:18:21,666 and of eating half-eaten burgers out of bins. 323 00:18:21,667 --> 00:18:24,208 When this happened, they got really depressed 324 00:18:24,250 --> 00:18:26,041 and took to drinking heavily. 325 00:18:27,667 --> 00:18:30,041 Over the years, this constant binge drinking, 326 00:18:30,042 --> 00:18:31,791 especially on weekends, 327 00:18:31,792 --> 00:18:33,416 caused their metabolism to mutate 328 00:18:33,417 --> 00:18:35,499 until their craving for blood 329 00:18:35,500 --> 00:18:38,167 and their craving for cheap booze became entwined. 330 00:18:39,667 --> 00:18:42,832 Thus, the trampire was born! 331 00:18:42,833 --> 00:18:44,624 Are you on drugs? 332 00:18:44,625 --> 00:18:45,916 I can prove it to you. 333 00:18:45,917 --> 00:18:47,499 Tell me, am I right in saying 334 00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:49,374 that before each of the victims disappeared 335 00:18:49,375 --> 00:18:51,791 they had recently attended a party or social gathering 336 00:18:51,792 --> 00:18:54,541 which would have involved a large amount of alcohol consumption? 337 00:18:54,542 --> 00:18:55,749 Go on. 338 00:18:55,750 --> 00:18:57,457 It is the same in every case. 339 00:18:57,458 --> 00:18:59,832 The trampires are only attracted to victims 340 00:18:59,833 --> 00:19:01,917 who are completely ripped to the tits. 341 00:19:03,875 --> 00:19:05,374 You don't believe me! 342 00:19:05,375 --> 00:19:06,916 Wait! 343 00:19:06,917 --> 00:19:08,124 Fruit cake. 344 00:19:08,125 --> 00:19:09,791 Where are you going? Come back! 345 00:19:09,792 --> 00:19:11,332 The trampires are real! 346 00:19:11,333 --> 00:19:13,041 They are out there! 347 00:19:13,042 --> 00:19:15,582 And with every new victim, their ranks grow ever stronger! 348 00:19:15,583 --> 00:19:17,250 I believe you. 349 00:19:19,458 --> 00:19:21,499 Oops. 350 00:19:21,500 --> 00:19:22,792 Sorry. 351 00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:29,874 See you on the gun range, Igor. 352 00:19:29,875 --> 00:19:31,874 Ah, steel, there you are. 353 00:19:31,875 --> 00:19:33,582 I hear you have a suspect in custody? 354 00:19:33,583 --> 00:19:35,207 Yeah. Old guy. 355 00:19:35,208 --> 00:19:37,082 Looks like Sherlock Holmes' retarded brother. 356 00:19:37,083 --> 00:19:38,749 Speedy work! On another matter, 357 00:19:38,750 --> 00:19:40,749 how's the anger management therapy going? 358 00:19:40,750 --> 00:19:42,332 Oh, you know. Pretty good. 359 00:19:42,333 --> 00:19:44,291 Been dealing with a lot of feelings and stuff. 360 00:19:44,292 --> 00:19:45,916 You know, emotions and shit? 361 00:19:45,917 --> 00:19:47,499 Cut the crap, steel! 362 00:19:47,500 --> 00:19:49,332 I know you haven't been to a single session! 363 00:19:49,333 --> 00:19:51,332 I've been busy. I'm in the middle of alphabetizing 364 00:19:51,333 --> 00:19:52,957 my cock rock collection. 365 00:19:52,958 --> 00:19:54,416 I don't need any more "cops on the edge" 366 00:19:54,417 --> 00:19:56,082 in this precinct, steel! 367 00:19:56,083 --> 00:19:57,457 So you'd better start revealing your inner child 368 00:19:57,458 --> 00:19:58,666 to this lady, or... 369 00:19:58,667 --> 00:20:00,041 Let me guess, it's my ass? 370 00:20:00,042 --> 00:20:01,457 No, it's your badge and your gun! 371 00:20:01,458 --> 00:20:04,499 You can shove your ass up your ass! 372 00:20:04,500 --> 00:20:06,041 It doesn't even make any sense! 373 00:20:06,042 --> 00:20:08,166 I'm in charge! I don't need to make sense! 374 00:20:08,167 --> 00:20:09,791 Face or balls? 375 00:20:09,792 --> 00:20:10,832 Jeez. 376 00:20:10,833 --> 00:20:12,166 Okay. Balls. 377 00:20:12,167 --> 00:20:13,624 I can't take any more head shots. 378 00:20:13,625 --> 00:20:14,957 My neurologist said I have an aneurysm 379 00:20:14,958 --> 00:20:16,374 the size of a tennis ball. 380 00:20:17,708 --> 00:20:19,457 Jesus! 381 00:20:19,458 --> 00:20:21,458 I think I split my ball bag! 382 00:20:40,083 --> 00:20:42,582 Hmm, so you said you feel like... 383 00:20:58,208 --> 00:20:59,707 Hmm, so you said you feel like this 384 00:20:59,708 --> 00:21:02,332 every waking minute of every day? 385 00:21:02,333 --> 00:21:03,749 Pretty much, yeah. 386 00:21:03,750 --> 00:21:04,957 Is that it? 387 00:21:04,958 --> 00:21:06,457 Please relax, officer steel. 388 00:21:06,458 --> 00:21:08,417 If these sessions are to be of any use, 389 00:21:08,458 --> 00:21:11,124 I require the patient to be a willing participant. 390 00:21:11,125 --> 00:21:12,541 I'm here aren't I? 391 00:21:12,542 --> 00:21:14,332 Under duress, I suspect. 392 00:21:14,333 --> 00:21:15,874 Look, do you want 0 do this or not? 393 00:21:15,875 --> 00:21:17,291 'Cause I got better things to do, lady. 394 00:21:17,292 --> 00:21:19,124 Believe it or not, I'm here to help. 395 00:21:19,125 --> 00:21:21,124 Oh, is that right? Well, I've seen what your kind of help 396 00:21:21,125 --> 00:21:22,957 is doing to the rest of this department! 397 00:21:22,958 --> 00:21:24,957 We've got maloney so "emotionally liberated" 398 00:21:24,958 --> 00:21:26,624 that if some street punk shot him, 399 00:21:26,625 --> 00:21:28,166 he'd probably apologize for bleeding so much! 400 00:21:28,167 --> 00:21:30,291 Martinez is so in touch with his inner child 401 00:21:30,292 --> 00:21:32,416 that he won't go anywhere without a diaper 402 00:21:32,417 --> 00:21:34,666 and Sanchez is so in tune with his sexual identity 403 00:21:34,667 --> 00:21:37,374 that he's taken to wearing a gimp mask on stakeouts! 404 00:21:37,375 --> 00:21:38,957 And as for the captain, 405 00:21:38,958 --> 00:21:40,749 that's really starting to scare me! 406 00:21:40,750 --> 00:21:43,082 I'm sorry if you don't like my methods, officer steel, 407 00:21:43,083 --> 00:21:45,457 but I also have a job to do. 408 00:21:45,458 --> 00:21:47,874 And that job is bringing emotionally scarred 409 00:21:47,875 --> 00:21:49,458 police officers like yourself 410 00:21:49,500 --> 00:21:51,791 back from the brink of self destruction. 411 00:21:51,792 --> 00:21:53,207 Well, I like being on the "brink"! 412 00:21:53,208 --> 00:21:55,207 In fact, I'm thinking of buying a house there. 413 00:21:55,208 --> 00:21:56,874 It's a little farther from the "edge" 414 00:21:56,875 --> 00:21:58,624 than I would have liked but I can always commute! 415 00:21:58,625 --> 00:22:00,832 This conversation is getting us nowhere. 416 00:22:00,833 --> 00:22:03,707 Let's start over, shall we? 417 00:22:03,708 --> 00:22:05,499 Tell me about your wife. 418 00:22:05,500 --> 00:22:06,707 Huh? 419 00:22:06,708 --> 00:22:07,874 There's nothing to tell. 420 00:22:07,875 --> 00:22:09,582 I had a wife and now I don't! 421 00:22:09,583 --> 00:22:11,749 That's it. Can I go now? 422 00:22:11,750 --> 00:22:12,999 What happened to her? 423 00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:14,332 She was killed. Okay? 424 00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:16,041 She's gone. 425 00:22:16,042 --> 00:22:18,249 She was murdered by a piece of shit ninja warlord 426 00:22:18,250 --> 00:22:20,249 by the name of akumu. 427 00:22:20,250 --> 00:22:22,582 What happened to this akumu? 428 00:22:22,583 --> 00:22:24,291 Didn't you try to find him? 429 00:22:24,292 --> 00:22:25,916 What are you saying? 430 00:22:25,917 --> 00:22:27,499 You saying I don't know how to do my job? Huh? 431 00:22:27,500 --> 00:22:29,041 No. I'm simply... 432 00:22:29,042 --> 00:22:30,832 You saying I didn't love my wife? Are you? 433 00:22:30,833 --> 00:22:32,624 I think we should leave things there for today. 434 00:22:32,625 --> 00:22:34,249 I can see you're becoming agitated. 435 00:22:34,250 --> 00:22:35,832 This ain't agitated, lady, 436 00:22:35,833 --> 00:22:39,082 believe me you don't want to see me agitated. 437 00:22:39,083 --> 00:22:41,791 You know, there's no shame in having emotions 438 00:22:41,792 --> 00:22:43,249 other than rage. 439 00:22:43,250 --> 00:22:45,541 I hope you'll come to see that eventually. 440 00:22:45,542 --> 00:22:47,499 Don't hold your breath, sugar tits. 441 00:22:47,500 --> 00:22:50,667 I'll have a fire in my belly till I'm dust in the wind. 442 00:22:53,750 --> 00:22:55,417 What a prick! 443 00:23:27,083 --> 00:23:28,499 J' slippin' away j' 444 00:23:29,958 --> 00:23:31,833 Every police officer... 445 00:23:34,250 --> 00:23:35,957 J' he pulled the shades I 446 00:23:35,958 --> 00:23:37,374 I locking out the neon lights I 447 00:23:41,500 --> 00:23:43,166 I the room was dark I 448 00:23:43,167 --> 00:23:44,999 Police are searching right now... 449 00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:46,832 I our shadows danced in perfect time I 450 00:23:50,833 --> 00:23:53,667 I to what was for this moment mine I 451 00:23:55,958 --> 00:23:58,957 I we're on the edge I 452 00:23:58,958 --> 00:24:01,582 I reachin' the point I 453 00:24:01,583 --> 00:24:03,666 I of no return I 454 00:24:03,667 --> 00:24:06,124 I caught in a web I 455 00:24:06,125 --> 00:24:07,958 I daring to touch I 456 00:24:08,792 --> 00:24:09,958 shut up! 457 00:24:17,875 --> 00:24:19,715 I you know I'm not afraid of your night moves I 458 00:24:25,333 --> 00:24:27,173 I you know I'm not afraid of your night moves I 459 00:24:30,542 --> 00:24:33,167 I dangerous games we play I 460 00:24:34,875 --> 00:24:37,958 I you know I'm not afraid I 461 00:24:41,376 --> 00:24:42,832 I secret ways I 462 00:24:42,833 --> 00:24:45,249 I always having to pretend I 463 00:24:47,250 --> 00:24:49,332 I we play the game I 464 00:24:50,625 --> 00:24:52,792 I outraged innocence I 465 00:24:55,208 --> 00:24:56,791 I we're on the edge I 466 00:24:58,417 --> 00:25:01,332 I reachin' the point of no return I 467 00:25:01,333 --> 00:25:03,457 I daring to touchl 468 00:25:03,458 --> 00:25:06,082 I is it the love of the danger I 469 00:25:06,083 --> 00:25:09,708 I or the danger of the love I 470 00:25:18,458 --> 00:25:23,500 I you know I'm not afraid of your night moves I 471 00:25:25,958 --> 00:25:29,332 I dangerous games we play I 472 00:25:29,333 --> 00:25:32,542 I but you know I'm not afraid I 473 00:25:52,500 --> 00:25:53,542 Oops. 474 00:25:58,542 --> 00:25:59,708 Huh? 475 00:26:10,375 --> 00:26:11,624 Steel here. 476 00:26:11,625 --> 00:26:13,457 Steel, the shit just hit the fan! 477 00:26:13,458 --> 00:26:14,707 There's been 12 more attacks 478 00:26:14,708 --> 00:26:16,499 in the space of four minutes. 479 00:26:16,500 --> 00:26:18,416 Plus, that guy you arrested has escaped. 480 00:26:18,417 --> 00:26:20,416 - Maloney? - Maloney. 481 00:26:20,417 --> 00:26:22,457 That guy is about as useful as yesterday's piss! 482 00:26:22,458 --> 00:26:24,499 We think he might be heading back to the hospital. 483 00:26:24,500 --> 00:26:25,999 Get over there now. 484 00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:27,624 Anything happens to the brownlow woman 485 00:26:27,625 --> 00:26:29,082 and the governor is gonna wall mount my ass 486 00:26:29,083 --> 00:26:30,207 in his hunting lodge! 487 00:26:30,208 --> 00:26:32,916 Lizard. 488 00:26:32,917 --> 00:26:35,332 Sometimes I worry about that man's state of mind. 489 00:26:35,333 --> 00:26:37,416 Sir, your tits are crooked. 490 00:26:37,417 --> 00:26:39,624 Oh, thanks. 491 00:26:59,792 --> 00:27:02,250 Now you're going to get it. 492 00:27:04,167 --> 00:27:07,707 Who dares to enter my dwelling place? 493 00:27:07,708 --> 00:27:11,457 It is I, foul wench, Abraham Van rental. 494 00:27:11,458 --> 00:27:14,082 I have returned to send your cursed soul 495 00:27:14,083 --> 00:27:16,624 back to the boiling hell from whence it came. 496 00:27:16,625 --> 00:27:18,625 Puny human fool! 497 00:27:18,667 --> 00:27:21,457 You shall never be rid of my kind! 498 00:27:21,458 --> 00:27:24,416 As long as people keep getting shit-faced 499 00:27:24,417 --> 00:27:27,708 they will be the prey of the trampire! 500 00:27:29,708 --> 00:27:32,832 Talking of which, I'm dying of thirst. 501 00:27:32,833 --> 00:27:35,207 Have you been drinking today? 502 00:27:35,208 --> 00:27:37,874 Well I... I had a glass of wine at lunchtime but that's all. 503 00:27:37,875 --> 00:27:40,749 That will have to suffice. 504 00:27:40,750 --> 00:27:42,166 Come to me. 505 00:27:42,167 --> 00:27:43,749 I thirst. 506 00:27:43,750 --> 00:27:45,958 You cannot mesmerize me! I'm British! 507 00:27:49,250 --> 00:27:51,208 I am yours, succubus. 508 00:27:58,292 --> 00:28:00,624 Oh, thank god! 509 00:28:00,625 --> 00:28:02,499 That crazy man is back! 510 00:28:02,500 --> 00:28:04,666 I... I think he's trying to molest her! 511 00:28:04,667 --> 00:28:06,750 Okay, step back. I'll handle this. 512 00:28:10,083 --> 00:28:11,208 Freeze! 513 00:28:13,125 --> 00:28:14,791 Damn you! 514 00:28:14,792 --> 00:28:17,291 I was about to get some. 515 00:28:18,625 --> 00:28:20,082 No, it's not what it looks like. 516 00:28:20,083 --> 00:28:21,707 - She is a... - A trampire. Yeah, I know. 517 00:28:21,708 --> 00:28:22,916 You believe me? 518 00:28:22,917 --> 00:28:24,582 I don't know what I believe. 519 00:28:24,583 --> 00:28:25,916 All I know is there's some weird shit going down 520 00:28:25,917 --> 00:28:27,499 and I can't explain it. 521 00:28:27,500 --> 00:28:30,582 So for now, everyone stay calm and nobody move. 522 00:28:30,583 --> 00:28:33,332 Is that supposed to be funny? 523 00:28:33,333 --> 00:28:34,541 We are too late. 524 00:28:34,542 --> 00:28:35,999 She has already turned. 525 00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:37,499 There is nothing we can do for her now. 526 00:28:37,500 --> 00:28:39,875 Come closer, pretty one, 527 00:28:39,917 --> 00:28:45,082 so that I may feast on your exquisite veins. 528 00:28:45,083 --> 00:28:46,582 No thanks. I gave at the office. 529 00:28:46,583 --> 00:28:49,249 You will pay for your insolence! 530 00:28:49,250 --> 00:28:50,624 The check's in the mail. 531 00:28:50,625 --> 00:28:52,832 Let's get some light in here. 532 00:28:52,833 --> 00:28:54,124 No! 533 00:28:54,125 --> 00:28:55,332 What the hell? 534 00:29:01,042 --> 00:29:02,166 Huh? 535 00:29:02,167 --> 00:29:03,749 Die, hell-bitch, die! 536 00:29:03,750 --> 00:29:05,374 Uh, okay, doc, take it easy. 537 00:29:05,375 --> 00:29:08,541 The master will make you pay for this! 538 00:29:08,542 --> 00:29:11,082 - He is coming soon! - Huh? 539 00:29:11,083 --> 00:29:14,792 You shall all pay with your souls! 540 00:29:17,708 --> 00:29:19,667 Wait! Close the curtains! 541 00:29:21,792 --> 00:29:23,292 Oh, shit. 542 00:29:31,875 --> 00:29:33,582 Oh, flaps. 543 00:29:33,583 --> 00:29:34,791 What's wrong? 544 00:29:34,792 --> 00:29:36,291 She spoke of the master. 545 00:29:36,292 --> 00:29:38,375 This could be worse than I thought. 546 00:29:41,333 --> 00:29:44,416 Well, she ain't gonna tell us anything now. 547 00:29:46,375 --> 00:29:47,957 - Huh? - Agh! 548 00:29:47,958 --> 00:29:49,541 Get it off me! It's biting my nose! 549 00:29:49,542 --> 00:29:51,000 Get it off me! 550 00:29:52,958 --> 00:29:54,458 Help me! 551 00:29:55,458 --> 00:29:56,875 Hold still! 552 00:29:59,792 --> 00:30:01,000 Take it off! 553 00:30:04,500 --> 00:30:06,874 Oh, god! 554 00:30:06,875 --> 00:30:08,958 Help me! Help me, you great lummox! 555 00:30:11,250 --> 00:30:12,625 Now, this might hurt a little. 556 00:30:15,292 --> 00:30:16,375 Sorry. 557 00:30:20,167 --> 00:30:21,457 - Huh? - Argh! 558 00:30:21,458 --> 00:30:22,917 Not the hair! Not the hair! 559 00:30:25,083 --> 00:30:27,124 Get it away from me! 560 00:30:33,375 --> 00:30:34,541 Huh? 561 00:30:34,542 --> 00:30:35,875 Mummy! 562 00:30:40,208 --> 00:30:41,500 Huh? 563 00:30:46,042 --> 00:30:48,125 I love you. 564 00:30:59,750 --> 00:31:01,541 Come on, you little bastard! 565 00:31:01,542 --> 00:31:02,707 I'll tan your ass! 566 00:31:10,500 --> 00:31:11,916 I'm stuck! 567 00:31:11,917 --> 00:31:13,750 Yo! Bat thing! 568 00:31:14,750 --> 00:31:16,166 Come on. 569 00:31:26,667 --> 00:31:28,207 Do you like that, huh? 570 00:31:30,583 --> 00:31:32,416 Is that what you want? 571 00:31:33,875 --> 00:31:35,707 It's not what it looks like. 572 00:31:35,708 --> 00:31:37,666 Somebody get some help! 573 00:31:37,667 --> 00:31:40,249 What the fuck! 574 00:31:40,250 --> 00:31:41,499 Damn it, steel! 575 00:31:41,500 --> 00:31:42,582 That was our only witness! 576 00:31:42,583 --> 00:31:44,041 What in the hell happened?! 577 00:31:44,042 --> 00:31:45,957 Well, captain, first she turned into a trampire 578 00:31:45,958 --> 00:31:47,499 so we opened the drapes. 579 00:31:47,500 --> 00:31:48,874 Then she turned into a bat and bit my nose 580 00:31:48,875 --> 00:31:50,916 so I killed her with a pencil. 581 00:31:50,917 --> 00:31:53,416 What?! And how could you lose another partner for Christ's sake! 582 00:31:53,417 --> 00:31:56,041 I just got my ass chewed out by the Swedish ambassador! 583 00:31:57,792 --> 00:32:00,041 Now that wasn't my fault. She was a real clumsy broad. 584 00:32:00,042 --> 00:32:01,832 And what the hell is it with your nose, steel? 585 00:32:01,833 --> 00:32:03,791 You look like Karl Malden on steroids! 586 00:32:03,792 --> 00:32:05,791 He has been bitten by one of them! 587 00:32:05,792 --> 00:32:08,207 Soon, the poison will work its way through his body. 588 00:32:08,208 --> 00:32:11,499 By midnight tonight he will have become a creature of darkness 589 00:32:11,500 --> 00:32:12,832 whose only goal is to attack 590 00:32:12,833 --> 00:32:14,957 drunk people coming out of bars! 591 00:32:14,958 --> 00:32:16,707 Who the fuck is this guy? 592 00:32:16,708 --> 00:32:18,124 Look, it's a long story, captain. 593 00:32:18,125 --> 00:32:19,499 Just give me till midnight. 594 00:32:19,500 --> 00:32:21,041 If I haven't found this psycho by then, 595 00:32:21,042 --> 00:32:22,457 you can personally drive a stake through my heart. 596 00:32:22,458 --> 00:32:24,499 - Liver. - What? 597 00:32:24,500 --> 00:32:26,749 To kill a trampire, you must Pierce the liver, not the heart. 598 00:32:26,750 --> 00:32:27,874 Whatever. 599 00:32:27,875 --> 00:32:29,582 So what do you say, captain? 600 00:32:29,583 --> 00:32:31,332 It's tempting, but I'm sorry, steel, not this time. 601 00:32:31,333 --> 00:32:33,207 You're off the case, as of now. 602 00:32:33,208 --> 00:32:35,374 I'm putting you on security detail at the circus tonight! 603 00:32:35,375 --> 00:32:36,582 To hell with that! 604 00:32:36,583 --> 00:32:38,082 I ain't no goddamn clown! 605 00:32:38,083 --> 00:32:39,582 Steel, you're lucky to get that! 606 00:32:39,583 --> 00:32:41,416 I've just got your psych report. 607 00:32:41,417 --> 00:32:43,624 Dr. Cular says you've got too many unresolved anger issues 608 00:32:43,625 --> 00:32:45,166 because of what happened to your wife. 609 00:32:45,167 --> 00:32:47,957 How many times do I have to tell you people? 610 00:32:47,958 --> 00:32:51,666 I do not have a goddamned anger problem! 611 00:32:53,833 --> 00:32:55,249 Damn it, steel! 612 00:32:55,250 --> 00:32:57,082 You're the best goddamn cop on the force 613 00:32:57,083 --> 00:32:59,541 but when are you going to realize it's not 1985 anymore! 614 00:33:00,917 --> 00:33:02,582 Now where was I? 615 00:33:02,583 --> 00:33:04,207 You were about to go one round of "face or balls". 616 00:33:04,208 --> 00:33:05,624 I was? 617 00:33:05,625 --> 00:33:07,025 Sure you were. You heard him, right? 618 00:33:07,917 --> 00:33:08,999 Yes. 619 00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:10,416 Uh, okay. 620 00:33:10,417 --> 00:33:12,041 It'll have to be face this time. 621 00:33:12,042 --> 00:33:14,249 My prostate's pulsing like a son of a bitch. 622 00:33:15,708 --> 00:33:17,374 You're gonna have to tell me the rules 623 00:33:17,375 --> 00:33:19,207 to this game one day, steel, 624 00:33:19,208 --> 00:33:21,166 'cause I'm sure I said face. 625 00:33:21,167 --> 00:33:22,374 Oh, sorry. 626 00:33:25,750 --> 00:33:27,291 Well, that should buy us a few hours. 627 00:33:27,292 --> 00:33:28,833 Let's go. I have a plan. 628 00:33:32,292 --> 00:33:33,875 Okay, giggles, you're up! 629 00:33:35,917 --> 00:33:37,416 Let's get one thing straight. 630 00:33:37,417 --> 00:33:39,124 I don't like you. 631 00:33:39,125 --> 00:33:40,707 And before you start, it's not because 632 00:33:40,708 --> 00:33:42,707 you're a goddamn monkey or any of that crap. 633 00:33:42,708 --> 00:33:44,541 The fact is I don't much like anybody. 634 00:33:44,542 --> 00:33:45,957 I know what your thinking. 635 00:33:45,958 --> 00:33:47,541 Your thinking this tough exterior 636 00:33:47,542 --> 00:33:49,499 is just my way of breaking in a new partner. 637 00:33:49,500 --> 00:33:50,916 And then after a while the bickering 638 00:33:50,917 --> 00:33:52,832 and mutual dislike of each other... 639 00:33:56,583 --> 00:33:58,957 This is your plan? Get shit-faced? 640 00:33:58,958 --> 00:34:00,166 Bait, dear boy. 641 00:34:00,167 --> 00:34:02,041 If we can consume enough alcohol 642 00:34:02,042 --> 00:34:04,416 then we might be able to lure the trampires out of hiding. 643 00:34:04,417 --> 00:34:07,207 At least, that's usually how it works. 644 00:34:07,208 --> 00:34:08,750 What are you talking about? 645 00:34:08,792 --> 00:34:11,582 Ancient scrolls tell of a mythical trampire 646 00:34:11,583 --> 00:34:13,124 known as the master. 647 00:34:13,125 --> 00:34:15,374 He is prophesied to be able to hold his drink 648 00:34:15,375 --> 00:34:17,166 a lot better than the others. 649 00:34:17,167 --> 00:34:19,332 The scrolls also state that this "leader of trampires" 650 00:34:19,333 --> 00:34:21,374 will attempt to bring about the "lock-in" 651 00:34:21,375 --> 00:34:23,124 an ancient curse that will turn the skies 652 00:34:23,125 --> 00:34:24,582 to an eternal night 653 00:34:24,583 --> 00:34:27,082 and transform water into cheap cider. 654 00:34:27,083 --> 00:34:30,207 The resultant darkness will cause mass depression amongst the peoples of the world 655 00:34:30,208 --> 00:34:33,041 and nearly everyone will start drinking heavily, 656 00:34:33,042 --> 00:34:35,874 creating a never-ending food supply for the trampires. 657 00:34:35,875 --> 00:34:38,791 The sober world we know shall be no more! 658 00:34:38,792 --> 00:34:40,457 Jesus. 659 00:34:40,458 --> 00:34:42,624 There is also a legend that tells of the chosen one, 660 00:34:42,625 --> 00:34:44,916 a man who will defeat the trampires once and for all. 661 00:34:44,917 --> 00:34:47,416 But personally I think that bit is bullshit. 662 00:34:47,417 --> 00:34:49,457 So how do we find this master? 663 00:34:49,458 --> 00:34:51,500 Bait, dear boy, bait. 664 00:35:03,250 --> 00:35:04,541 Hello? 665 00:35:04,542 --> 00:35:06,500 Steel, you here? 666 00:35:10,250 --> 00:35:11,917 Don't be a chicken, Mr. Butterworth. 667 00:35:21,250 --> 00:35:22,791 Huh. 668 00:35:22,792 --> 00:35:25,333 I'll get my money one way or another, you bum. 669 00:35:29,667 --> 00:35:30,792 Oh, shit! 670 00:35:40,875 --> 00:35:42,457 Oh, boy! 671 00:35:42,458 --> 00:35:44,750 Am I gonna have some fun with this! 672 00:35:50,750 --> 00:35:52,291 Mr. Butterworth! 673 00:35:52,292 --> 00:35:54,374 Oh, my god! 674 00:35:57,750 --> 00:36:00,207 So, so how'd you get into this game, doc? 675 00:36:00,208 --> 00:36:01,457 Hunting trampires, I mean. 676 00:36:03,042 --> 00:36:05,374 It's been a family business for centuries. 677 00:36:05,375 --> 00:36:07,374 My father hunted trampires, 678 00:36:07,375 --> 00:36:12,375 as did his father before him, and his father before him... 679 00:36:12,417 --> 00:36:14,207 And his father before him. 680 00:36:14,208 --> 00:36:15,541 Yeah, I get the picture. 681 00:36:15,542 --> 00:36:17,417 No, his father was a plumber. 682 00:36:18,792 --> 00:36:21,082 So what about you, 683 00:36:21,083 --> 00:36:23,416 is there a Mrs. Steel? 684 00:36:23,417 --> 00:36:25,207 I don't want to talk about it. 685 00:36:25,208 --> 00:36:26,625 Okay. 686 00:36:28,125 --> 00:36:30,332 God, I loved that woman! 687 00:36:30,333 --> 00:36:32,124 What happened? 688 00:36:32,125 --> 00:36:34,332 Oh, uh, she died. 689 00:36:34,333 --> 00:36:36,541 - What?! - Murdered by a ninja asshole 690 00:36:36,542 --> 00:36:38,249 by the name of akumu. 691 00:36:38,250 --> 00:36:39,707 What a bummer! 692 00:36:39,708 --> 00:36:41,374 Damn straight! 693 00:36:41,375 --> 00:36:42,874 Damn you, akumu! 694 00:36:42,875 --> 00:36:44,916 Damn you! 695 00:36:44,917 --> 00:36:47,082 Can I just say, 696 00:36:47,083 --> 00:36:50,041 you have the biggest penis I've ever seen on a man. 697 00:36:50,042 --> 00:36:51,375 I know. 698 00:36:54,958 --> 00:36:56,124 Huh? 699 00:36:57,917 --> 00:36:59,375 You mother fu... 700 00:37:02,792 --> 00:37:07,957 We're going to walk the streets looking for tramps. 701 00:37:07,958 --> 00:37:10,082 Whatever floats your boat, buddy. 702 00:37:10,083 --> 00:37:12,124 Ah! 703 00:37:12,125 --> 00:37:14,707 Clowns. 704 00:37:27,375 --> 00:37:30,749 I pretty people, pretty cars I 705 00:37:30,750 --> 00:37:33,374 I livin' in the lap of luxury I 706 00:37:33,375 --> 00:37:34,917 - hey! - Sorry! 707 00:37:39,417 --> 00:37:42,332 I but this precious fantasy I 708 00:37:42,333 --> 00:37:45,499 I seems so close when it's so far from me I 709 00:37:51,083 --> 00:37:52,291 Don't so drugs! 710 00:37:52,292 --> 00:37:54,374 I tell me I 711 00:37:54,375 --> 00:37:56,957 I where to get in line I 712 00:37:58,042 --> 00:37:59,166 I show me I 713 00:38:01,958 --> 00:38:03,957 Why would you do that? 714 00:38:03,958 --> 00:38:05,457 Sorry! 715 00:38:08,167 --> 00:38:10,624 I on the streets in paradise I 716 00:38:10,625 --> 00:38:13,082 I when you're not the chosen few I 717 00:38:13,083 --> 00:38:16,542 I it's hot as hell and cold as ice I 718 00:38:18,542 --> 00:38:21,124 leave me alone! 719 00:38:21,125 --> 00:38:23,958 I livin' on the streets in paradise I 720 00:38:27,375 --> 00:38:28,582 I come on I 721 00:38:32,333 --> 00:38:33,916 It's no good. 722 00:38:33,917 --> 00:38:36,083 My hangover's kicking in and we ain't found squat. 723 00:38:37,792 --> 00:38:39,791 There is one thing we can try 724 00:38:39,792 --> 00:38:42,166 but you're not going to like it. 725 00:38:42,167 --> 00:38:43,457 Fifty bucks 726 00:38:43,458 --> 00:38:45,667 and the monkey can watch. 727 00:38:49,333 --> 00:38:51,499 Thank you, fair lady of the night. 728 00:38:51,500 --> 00:38:54,458 You guys are into some kinky shit. 729 00:38:57,208 --> 00:38:59,166 Goddamn perverts everywhere. 730 00:38:59,167 --> 00:39:01,166 You can come out now. She's gone. 731 00:39:05,208 --> 00:39:08,082 I am seriously not happy about this! 732 00:39:08,083 --> 00:39:10,791 Statistically, the trampires attack drunken couples 733 00:39:10,792 --> 00:39:12,541 more than any other demographic. 734 00:39:12,542 --> 00:39:14,416 I still don't see why I had to wear the dress? 735 00:39:14,417 --> 00:39:16,624 Well, I couldn't pull that off. Not with my legs. 736 00:39:16,625 --> 00:39:18,624 Besides, there's no time to argue. 737 00:39:18,625 --> 00:39:19,957 Time is running out for you. 738 00:39:19,958 --> 00:39:21,291 So now what? 739 00:39:21,292 --> 00:39:23,374 Now we walk. And we wait. 740 00:39:25,083 --> 00:39:28,582 Bloody hell! That worked quicker than I anticipated. 741 00:39:28,583 --> 00:39:30,249 Back, servant of twilight! Back! 742 00:39:32,375 --> 00:39:34,207 Quickly! We must not lose sight of him. 743 00:39:34,208 --> 00:39:35,707 He may lead us to the nest! 744 00:39:35,708 --> 00:39:38,000 Jesus. How do you walk in these things?! 745 00:39:46,458 --> 00:39:48,166 Give me your truck! 746 00:39:48,167 --> 00:39:49,541 Bite me! 747 00:39:49,542 --> 00:39:52,957 He bit me! 748 00:39:52,958 --> 00:39:54,708 He's getting away! 749 00:39:55,500 --> 00:39:56,542 Come on! 750 00:40:03,292 --> 00:40:04,582 Fucking shoes! 751 00:40:06,042 --> 00:40:08,208 Come on. Don't dilly dally 752 00:40:09,958 --> 00:40:11,207 give me my clothes. 753 00:40:11,208 --> 00:40:13,207 I need to change out of this shit. 754 00:40:13,208 --> 00:40:15,291 Oh, uh, I'm afraid I dropped them in the alley. 755 00:40:15,292 --> 00:40:16,833 You asshole! 756 00:40:29,708 --> 00:40:32,625 I think we might be on to something here, you know. 757 00:40:35,333 --> 00:40:39,458 If I'm not mistaken, this could well be the trampires lair. 758 00:40:41,167 --> 00:40:43,666 Gee. You reckon? 759 00:41:02,208 --> 00:41:03,583 What the hell? 760 00:41:10,083 --> 00:41:12,541 It looks like freshman week at Betty Ford's. 761 00:41:12,542 --> 00:41:14,374 This is definitely the nest. 762 00:41:14,375 --> 00:41:16,500 But there's more of them than usual. 763 00:41:20,500 --> 00:41:22,499 Look. It's Harold brownlow. 764 00:41:22,500 --> 00:41:23,999 He looks like shit. 765 00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:26,082 It is too late for him I'm afraid. 766 00:41:26,083 --> 00:41:27,625 He is one of them now. 767 00:41:44,958 --> 00:41:46,249 What the hell? 768 00:41:46,250 --> 00:41:47,874 - You know her? - Sure. 769 00:41:47,875 --> 00:41:49,499 She's the department shrink! 770 00:41:49,500 --> 00:41:51,624 It looks like she's much more than that. 771 00:41:51,625 --> 00:41:55,124 It looks like she is the master. 772 00:41:55,125 --> 00:41:57,249 But she can't be! I've seen her in daylight. 773 00:41:57,250 --> 00:41:58,666 She didn't even break a sweat. 774 00:41:58,667 --> 00:42:00,291 The scrolls tell us that the master 775 00:42:00,292 --> 00:42:02,082 is stronger than the others. 776 00:42:02,083 --> 00:42:03,791 To kill him, or her, 777 00:42:03,792 --> 00:42:06,374 you must use three methods within a 15 minute window. 778 00:42:06,375 --> 00:42:08,416 For example, a stake through the liver 779 00:42:08,417 --> 00:42:10,082 in broad daylight whilst hosing him 780 00:42:10,083 --> 00:42:12,916 or her down with holy coffee. 781 00:42:12,917 --> 00:42:15,624 Are you making this shit up as you go?! 782 00:42:18,417 --> 00:42:20,791 Thank you, my brothers. 783 00:42:20,792 --> 00:42:24,124 It warms the blood to see so many of you here tonight. 784 00:42:24,125 --> 00:42:26,166 It has been a long road 785 00:42:26,167 --> 00:42:29,124 but our journey's nearly at an end. 786 00:42:29,125 --> 00:42:32,916 The task of sabotaging the LAPD is now complete. 787 00:42:32,917 --> 00:42:37,124 Their heads are now so full of meaningless psychobabble 788 00:42:37,125 --> 00:42:39,874 that when it comes to the final battle, 789 00:42:39,875 --> 00:42:43,457 they will be unable to protect the puritan. 790 00:42:46,250 --> 00:42:47,916 Believe it or not, 791 00:42:47,917 --> 00:42:50,916 some of the poor saps even began cross dressing! 792 00:42:55,417 --> 00:42:57,624 Not a goddamn word. 793 00:42:57,625 --> 00:43:00,874 Tonight, we will drink the blood of the puritan, 794 00:43:00,875 --> 00:43:02,916 the lock in will come to pass 795 00:43:02,917 --> 00:43:05,582 and we shall reign over the humans 796 00:43:05,583 --> 00:43:08,332 and reclaim the glory of our forefathers. 797 00:43:10,375 --> 00:43:12,124 So who's this puritan guy? 798 00:43:12,125 --> 00:43:14,291 The scrolls speak of a sworn enemy of 799 00:43:14,292 --> 00:43:16,332 the trampires called the puritan 800 00:43:16,333 --> 00:43:18,124 a man of great social standing 801 00:43:18,125 --> 00:43:20,207 who threatens their way of life. 802 00:43:20,208 --> 00:43:22,041 If memory serves me correctly, 803 00:43:22,042 --> 00:43:23,666 he must be sacrificed at midnight, 804 00:43:23,667 --> 00:43:26,541 in a public arena, to bring about the lock in. 805 00:43:26,542 --> 00:43:29,166 They've been calling governor atkins a puritan on the news a lot 806 00:43:29,167 --> 00:43:31,457 he's been clamping down on liquor licenses. 807 00:43:31,458 --> 00:43:33,291 If there's less drunk people on the streets, 808 00:43:33,292 --> 00:43:35,624 the trampires food supply would dwindle. 809 00:43:35,625 --> 00:43:37,249 That's bound to piss them right off. 810 00:43:37,250 --> 00:43:39,666 Atkins is attending a charity event tonight. 811 00:43:39,667 --> 00:43:41,666 They're going to hit him at the circus. 812 00:43:41,667 --> 00:43:43,707 - Oh, shit. - What is it? 813 00:43:43,708 --> 00:43:44,957 My wife is... 814 00:43:46,125 --> 00:43:47,582 Um, dead. My wife is dead. 815 00:43:47,583 --> 00:43:48,957 Killed by ninjas. 816 00:43:48,958 --> 00:43:50,374 I know. You said. 817 00:43:50,375 --> 00:43:52,582 Let us pack up our cardboard coffins 818 00:43:52,583 --> 00:43:54,957 for the final time, my brothers. 819 00:43:54,958 --> 00:43:58,832 Our destiny awaits us at the strike of midnight! 820 00:43:58,833 --> 00:44:00,791 They're gonna leave. 821 00:44:00,792 --> 00:44:02,416 We gotta do something! 822 00:44:02,417 --> 00:44:05,124 Will you keep still. They're gonna see us. 823 00:44:05,125 --> 00:44:07,249 Um, Chuck, I fear we may have 824 00:44:07,250 --> 00:44:09,083 a situation developing. 825 00:44:10,375 --> 00:44:11,500 Huh? 826 00:44:12,708 --> 00:44:14,166 Help me. 827 00:44:14,167 --> 00:44:16,124 Get him off me! 828 00:44:16,125 --> 00:44:18,416 Will you keep still?! I'm trying to get a grip! 829 00:44:18,417 --> 00:44:20,541 He's all sweaty. 830 00:44:20,542 --> 00:44:23,124 I can feel his helmet through my britches! 831 00:44:23,125 --> 00:44:25,082 Quit squirming, will you? 832 00:44:25,083 --> 00:44:26,917 Pull him off! 833 00:44:26,958 --> 00:44:28,916 I don't think he needs any help in that department. 834 00:44:28,917 --> 00:44:31,124 Will you just shoot the bastard? 835 00:44:31,125 --> 00:44:32,166 Eat this! 836 00:44:35,500 --> 00:44:37,250 I think they might've heard that. 837 00:44:48,667 --> 00:44:50,957 Okay, you hell bastards! Let's dance! 838 00:44:50,958 --> 00:44:53,791 Officer steel, what a pleasant surprise. 839 00:44:53,792 --> 00:44:55,749 Nice outfit. 840 00:44:55,750 --> 00:44:58,207 Looks like my sessions with you have had an affect after all. 841 00:44:58,208 --> 00:44:59,666 This old thing? 842 00:44:59,667 --> 00:45:02,332 Unhand me, you malodorous mendicants! 843 00:45:02,333 --> 00:45:04,749 As for you, you interfering little shit! 844 00:45:04,750 --> 00:45:07,167 Your forefathers have caused me no end of hassle 845 00:45:07,208 --> 00:45:09,082 over the centuries! 846 00:45:09,083 --> 00:45:11,707 How does it feel to know you will be the last of your kind! 847 00:45:11,708 --> 00:45:14,041 Ah! That's what you think, homunculus! 848 00:45:14,042 --> 00:45:16,832 Why even as we speak, my 15 year old grandson algernon 849 00:45:16,833 --> 00:45:18,957 is in training to take over my mantle. 850 00:45:18,958 --> 00:45:21,082 If he can just stop masturbating long enough. 851 00:45:21,083 --> 00:45:23,166 Cease your prattling, fool! 852 00:45:23,167 --> 00:45:25,707 Give it up, lady, we know about your plan to kill the governor. 853 00:45:25,708 --> 00:45:27,291 You'll never get away with it. 854 00:45:27,292 --> 00:45:29,291 Oh, I will, officer steel. 855 00:45:29,292 --> 00:45:30,957 It is my destiny. 856 00:45:30,958 --> 00:45:32,749 It's your destiny to be locked in a rubber room 857 00:45:32,750 --> 00:45:35,041 with a box of crayons, you crazy bitch! 858 00:45:35,042 --> 00:45:37,999 Well you're not exactly playing with a full deck now are you? 859 00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:40,791 Not since your wife left you. 860 00:45:40,792 --> 00:45:42,249 Huh?! 861 00:45:42,250 --> 00:45:45,749 I thought your wife was killed by ninjas? 862 00:45:45,750 --> 00:45:47,999 He fed you that story, too, did he? 863 00:45:48,000 --> 00:45:50,041 The elusive ninja master akumu, 864 00:45:50,042 --> 00:45:53,707 arch Nemesis of the legend that is Chuck steel! 865 00:45:55,833 --> 00:45:57,791 All lies I'm afraid. 866 00:45:57,792 --> 00:45:59,832 The truth is a little more 867 00:45:59,833 --> 00:46:01,582 human, shall we say. 868 00:46:01,583 --> 00:46:03,791 Where the hell did you get that? 869 00:46:03,792 --> 00:46:06,666 Oh, it's amazing how helpful your landlord could be 870 00:46:06,667 --> 00:46:08,792 with my teeth clamped round his throat. 871 00:46:09,958 --> 00:46:12,124 - "Dear Chuck... - Oh, god, no! 872 00:46:12,125 --> 00:46:14,041 I know this might come as a surprise, 873 00:46:14,042 --> 00:46:15,707 but I'm leaving you. 874 00:46:15,708 --> 00:46:17,874 You're a misogynistic, neanderthal, asshole 875 00:46:17,875 --> 00:46:20,791 with stupid hair and a laughably oversized chin 876 00:46:20,792 --> 00:46:22,957 that looks like a loaf of bread. 877 00:46:22,958 --> 00:46:24,541 I've met someone else. 878 00:46:24,542 --> 00:46:26,124 His name is Barney. 879 00:46:26,125 --> 00:46:28,374 He works at a world renowned travelling circus 880 00:46:28,375 --> 00:46:30,792 as their premier clown in residence." 881 00:46:30,833 --> 00:46:33,041 Shut up, damn it! Shut up! 882 00:46:33,042 --> 00:46:35,582 He's a giant in the world of physical comedy, 883 00:46:35,583 --> 00:46:39,666 an expert unicyclist and a better lover than you could ever be. 884 00:46:39,667 --> 00:46:41,957 Please, no more. 885 00:46:46,250 --> 00:46:48,374 P.s. Don't try to find me 886 00:46:48,375 --> 00:46:50,792 or Barney will set the lions on you." 887 00:46:53,750 --> 00:46:55,749 His wife left him for a clown! 888 00:46:55,750 --> 00:46:57,999 Please, god, make it stop! 889 00:46:58,000 --> 00:47:00,707 Oh, you poor bastard. 890 00:47:00,708 --> 00:47:03,791 I swear to god, I am going to kill every last one of you 891 00:47:03,792 --> 00:47:06,375 dirty stinking mother f... 892 00:47:09,125 --> 00:47:10,457 Fuckers! 893 00:47:10,458 --> 00:47:11,958 Night-night. 894 00:47:16,792 --> 00:47:18,125 Huh? 895 00:47:20,167 --> 00:47:22,292 Hello. 896 00:47:25,625 --> 00:47:28,707 Welcome back to the land of the living, officer steel. 897 00:47:28,708 --> 00:47:31,166 While you were out, we force fed your friend 898 00:47:31,167 --> 00:47:32,874 three bottles of cheap whisky 899 00:47:32,875 --> 00:47:34,957 and he is now completely hammered. 900 00:47:34,958 --> 00:47:37,374 Let's go to a club. 901 00:47:37,375 --> 00:47:39,582 And since your nose is no longer swollen, 902 00:47:39,583 --> 00:47:42,457 we know that the toxins are now in your system. 903 00:47:42,458 --> 00:47:45,291 Soon the cravings will begin and your friend 904 00:47:45,292 --> 00:47:47,374 will look more appealing to you than a trolley dash 905 00:47:47,375 --> 00:47:49,082 in a liquor store. 906 00:47:49,083 --> 00:47:51,082 You will feast on his blood 907 00:47:51,083 --> 00:47:53,207 and your transformation will be complete. 908 00:47:56,083 --> 00:47:58,082 But I'm not a monster. 909 00:47:58,083 --> 00:48:00,499 You're probably going to need some therapy after this 910 00:48:00,500 --> 00:48:03,125 so I've left my business card with Steve here. 911 00:48:06,458 --> 00:48:07,666 Call me. 912 00:48:07,667 --> 00:48:09,792 Anytime. 913 00:48:14,750 --> 00:48:16,166 I like him. 914 00:48:16,167 --> 00:48:17,374 He's silly. 915 00:48:21,042 --> 00:48:23,082 I was enjoying that. 916 00:48:48,958 --> 00:48:51,124 Fear not. I'm not actually that drunk. 917 00:48:51,125 --> 00:48:53,958 As part of my training I learned to pass alcohol through my system 918 00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:56,791 so fast that it has minimal effect. 919 00:48:56,792 --> 00:48:58,752 The only downside is the cost of the dry cleaning. 920 00:49:00,875 --> 00:49:02,374 Leave me. Get away. 921 00:49:02,375 --> 00:49:04,041 Listen, doc, you have to kill me. 922 00:49:04,042 --> 00:49:05,999 I'm going to turn into one of them any time now. 923 00:49:06,000 --> 00:49:07,874 Come on, old boy. Snap out of it. 924 00:49:07,875 --> 00:49:09,374 That's easy for you to say. 925 00:49:09,375 --> 00:49:11,291 My reputation is shot to shit. 926 00:49:11,292 --> 00:49:14,042 Being the best goddamn cop on the force is what I do. 927 00:49:14,083 --> 00:49:16,374 It's who I am. Without that I'm nothing. 928 00:49:16,375 --> 00:49:17,874 Nonsense, my boy. 929 00:49:17,875 --> 00:49:19,666 Here drink some of this. 930 00:49:19,667 --> 00:49:21,832 - What is it? - A secret elixir 931 00:49:21,833 --> 00:49:23,916 that helps stave off the symptoms for a while. 932 00:49:23,917 --> 00:49:25,957 Why didn't you mention this before? 933 00:49:25,958 --> 00:49:27,957 It is only to be consumed in an emergency 934 00:49:27,958 --> 00:49:29,916 as it only works once I'm afraid. 935 00:49:29,917 --> 00:49:33,582 It's made up of a mixture of tomato juice and alka-seltzer. 936 00:49:33,583 --> 00:49:35,707 Oh, and pulverized giraffe sphincters. 937 00:49:37,000 --> 00:49:38,125 Oh, bugger. 938 00:49:41,917 --> 00:49:43,500 Put 'em up, you bounder! 939 00:50:24,917 --> 00:50:27,041 Steve, you fucking prick! 940 00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:33,542 I'm starting to get agitated! 941 00:50:43,458 --> 00:50:45,582 - How do you feel? - Okay, I think. 942 00:50:45,583 --> 00:50:47,957 Good. The elixir has bought us a few hours. 943 00:50:47,958 --> 00:50:50,624 We need to get to the circus before the show starts. 944 00:50:50,625 --> 00:50:53,332 Yo! Giggles, let's blow this shitbox! 945 00:50:53,333 --> 00:50:55,957 You know, when he isn't throwing his turds around, 946 00:50:55,958 --> 00:50:58,416 he's a damn good partner. 947 00:50:59,750 --> 00:51:01,042 Giggles! 948 00:51:03,875 --> 00:51:04,917 No! 949 00:51:10,500 --> 00:51:11,541 Ah! 950 00:51:12,667 --> 00:51:14,000 I need help! 951 00:51:17,833 --> 00:51:19,125 No! 952 00:51:23,792 --> 00:51:26,041 Chuck! Get to the circus! 953 00:51:26,042 --> 00:51:27,707 Save the puritan! 954 00:51:27,708 --> 00:51:29,791 But first. I'd change into something less slutty 955 00:51:29,792 --> 00:51:31,124 if I were you! 956 00:51:37,375 --> 00:51:39,125 Oh, I can see my hotel! 957 00:51:49,708 --> 00:51:50,958 What the hell? 958 00:51:54,458 --> 00:51:56,082 "If you're reading this then I'm guessing 959 00:51:56,083 --> 00:51:58,082 there's a higher than average chance 960 00:51:58,083 --> 00:51:59,957 that Mr. Giggles is fubarred. 961 00:51:59,958 --> 00:52:02,124 So, in an effort to get ahead of the game with this situation 962 00:52:02,125 --> 00:52:05,957 here's your new partner, you psychotic son of a bitch. 963 00:52:05,958 --> 00:52:07,749 Oh, not this shit again. 964 00:52:07,750 --> 00:52:09,582 This is your last chance, steel. 965 00:52:09,583 --> 00:52:12,332 Fuck this up and I swear your ass is history! 966 00:52:12,333 --> 00:52:15,653 P.s. If you're coming back to the office, can you pick up some milk? We're all out." 967 00:52:26,542 --> 00:52:27,458 Huh? 968 00:52:27,459 --> 00:52:28,749 What the hell? 969 00:52:28,750 --> 00:52:30,166 That was here when I moved in. 970 00:52:30,167 --> 00:52:31,999 Where's my rent? 971 00:52:32,000 --> 00:52:34,041 Listen to me, gussman, you've been bitten by a trampire. 972 00:52:34,042 --> 00:52:36,416 Pretty soon all you'll want to do is drink the blood of drunk people 973 00:52:36,417 --> 00:52:39,416 and spend the daylight hours hiding in a cardboard box on shit street. 974 00:52:39,417 --> 00:52:41,083 Now if you let me get my crossbow 975 00:52:41,125 --> 00:52:43,832 and get out of this skirt, there's still time to fix this. 976 00:52:43,833 --> 00:52:45,625 You goddamn pervert! 977 00:52:48,333 --> 00:52:49,542 No! 978 00:53:00,083 --> 00:53:01,124 Oh, shit. 979 00:53:17,583 --> 00:53:18,916 Huh? 980 00:53:18,917 --> 00:53:20,792 This is coming out of your deposit! 981 00:53:20,833 --> 00:53:22,292 Deposit this! 982 00:53:30,542 --> 00:53:32,167 There's never anything on TV! 983 00:53:36,875 --> 00:53:38,332 Oh, shit! 984 00:53:38,333 --> 00:53:40,417 Destructive sequence initiated. 985 00:53:45,542 --> 00:53:46,625 Huh? 986 00:53:48,833 --> 00:53:49,874 Huh? 987 00:53:51,667 --> 00:53:53,207 You gotta be shitting me! 988 00:53:53,208 --> 00:53:55,167 Give us a kiss! Give us a kiss! 989 00:53:59,167 --> 00:54:00,499 Huh? 990 00:54:00,500 --> 00:54:02,167 Give us a kiss! Give us a kiss! 991 00:54:03,417 --> 00:54:05,125 Fuck you, butterworth! 992 00:54:05,958 --> 00:54:06,958 Huh. 993 00:54:09,125 --> 00:54:10,845 - Seven, six... - Give us a kiss! 994 00:54:13,833 --> 00:54:14,874 Huh? 995 00:54:14,875 --> 00:54:16,416 Oh, give me a fucking break! 996 00:54:16,417 --> 00:54:18,832 Three, two, one... 997 00:54:18,833 --> 00:54:19,833 Have a nice day. 998 00:54:57,792 --> 00:55:00,333 Okay, let's get one thing straight. 999 00:55:01,208 --> 00:55:02,917 I don't like you. 1000 00:55:18,333 --> 00:55:19,707 Huh? 1001 00:55:19,708 --> 00:55:21,375 I peed my pants! 1002 00:55:27,333 --> 00:55:30,207 Easy there, son, you've had quite a knock. 1003 00:55:31,833 --> 00:55:33,166 Who are you people? 1004 00:55:33,167 --> 00:55:34,416 Name's dora. 1005 00:55:34,417 --> 00:55:36,291 This here's bum central. 1006 00:55:36,292 --> 00:55:38,125 It's not much but it's home. 1007 00:55:49,458 --> 00:55:50,832 How did I get here? 1008 00:55:50,833 --> 00:55:52,207 Stretch over there, 1009 00:55:52,208 --> 00:55:54,249 he's been watching me for awhile now. 1010 00:55:54,250 --> 00:55:55,916 I know you, don't I? 1011 00:55:55,917 --> 00:55:57,375 Howdy, son. 1012 00:55:59,042 --> 00:56:00,291 Why do they call you stretch? 1013 00:56:00,292 --> 00:56:01,957 Huh? Oh. 1014 00:56:01,958 --> 00:56:04,000 'Cause I hide all my loose change in my foreskin. 1015 00:56:08,292 --> 00:56:11,374 Just don't ask where he keeps his wallet. 1016 00:56:11,375 --> 00:56:12,875 I heard that! 1017 00:56:16,417 --> 00:56:18,166 Is that my stuff? 1018 00:56:18,167 --> 00:56:20,082 What are they doing? 1019 00:56:20,083 --> 00:56:21,624 Wooden-tipped bullets. 1020 00:56:21,625 --> 00:56:23,124 They are making a few modifications. 1021 00:56:23,125 --> 00:56:24,875 I hope you don't mind. 1022 00:56:26,708 --> 00:56:28,875 Here we found this, too. 1023 00:56:37,208 --> 00:56:39,332 From someone special, huh? 1024 00:56:39,333 --> 00:56:41,582 It's all I have left of my wife. 1025 00:56:41,583 --> 00:56:42,707 I'm sorry. 1026 00:56:43,833 --> 00:56:45,082 Nah. 1027 00:56:45,083 --> 00:56:47,417 She left me for a circus clown. 1028 00:56:52,542 --> 00:56:54,082 What's their problem? 1029 00:56:54,083 --> 00:56:55,624 They know you've been bit. 1030 00:56:55,625 --> 00:56:57,957 Wondering how come you ain't turned yet. 1031 00:56:57,958 --> 00:57:00,207 A friend of mine gave me, uh... 1032 00:57:00,208 --> 00:57:02,041 Wait a second. You know? 1033 00:57:02,042 --> 00:57:03,832 About the trampires? 1034 00:57:03,833 --> 00:57:06,500 Come with me, son, you need to see something. 1035 00:57:14,083 --> 00:57:15,542 This way. 1036 00:57:21,625 --> 00:57:23,499 Look, in the mural. 1037 00:57:23,500 --> 00:57:24,917 It's you. 1038 00:57:31,125 --> 00:57:33,832 This lone wolf bullshit of yours has gone on long enough. 1039 00:57:33,833 --> 00:57:36,082 Giggles! 1040 00:57:36,083 --> 00:57:38,957 The master will make you pay for this. 1041 00:57:38,958 --> 00:57:41,042 He is coming. 1042 00:57:42,333 --> 00:57:45,749 I love you. 1043 00:57:45,750 --> 00:57:47,416 No! 1044 00:57:47,417 --> 00:57:50,124 I can feel his helmet through my britches! 1045 00:57:50,125 --> 00:57:51,874 This is your last chance, steel. 1046 00:57:51,875 --> 00:57:53,917 Fuck this up, I swear your ass is history! 1047 00:57:56,625 --> 00:57:57,792 Huh? 1048 00:58:04,625 --> 00:58:06,582 What the fuck is that? 1049 00:58:06,583 --> 00:58:07,957 We call him the wise one. 1050 00:58:07,958 --> 00:58:09,833 He's been down here for 30 years, 1051 00:58:09,875 --> 00:58:11,666 ever since he was fired from Goldman sachs 1052 00:58:11,667 --> 00:58:13,707 for taking a shit in the elevator. 1053 00:58:13,708 --> 00:58:15,167 Is it him? 1054 00:58:17,500 --> 00:58:19,957 Is one of you gonna tell me what the fuck is going on here? 1055 00:58:19,958 --> 00:58:22,457 The legend speaks of a man 1056 00:58:22,458 --> 00:58:24,749 who will fall from the skies 1057 00:58:24,750 --> 00:58:29,125 with the tools that can bring about the trampires destruction. 1058 00:58:41,375 --> 00:58:42,916 Oh, my god! 1059 00:58:42,917 --> 00:58:46,082 You are the chosen one, 1060 00:58:46,083 --> 00:58:49,082 my friend. 1061 00:58:49,083 --> 00:58:51,208 We're going to the circus, fudge suckers! 1062 00:58:51,250 --> 00:58:52,708 Mind your fucking language! 1063 00:58:54,875 --> 00:58:57,624 And here we see governor atkins arriving 1064 00:58:57,625 --> 00:58:59,416 at tonight's charity event. 1065 00:58:59,417 --> 00:59:02,749 Indeed this whole midnight show was the governor's idea 1066 00:59:02,750 --> 00:59:06,916 as a way as a way to highlight the plight of the homeless on our streets. 1067 00:59:06,917 --> 00:59:09,292 He truly is a man of the people. 1068 00:59:19,208 --> 00:59:20,957 Who's here again? 1069 00:59:20,958 --> 00:59:23,041 Some of these poor bastards aren't gonna 1070 00:59:23,042 --> 00:59:24,332 make it through tonight. 1071 00:59:24,333 --> 00:59:26,291 Son, some of these poor bastards 1072 00:59:26,292 --> 00:59:27,972 weren't gonna make it through to breakfast. 1073 00:59:31,833 --> 00:59:33,958 The prophecy begins. 1074 00:59:47,125 --> 00:59:48,250 Huh? 1075 00:59:53,667 --> 00:59:56,750 Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Oh, shit! 1076 01:00:04,542 --> 01:00:06,541 Wait! Wait! Come back! 1077 01:00:06,542 --> 01:00:08,542 There's been a terrible mistake! 1078 01:00:13,125 --> 01:00:14,874 Oh. 1079 01:00:16,750 --> 01:00:17,874 Huh? 1080 01:00:17,875 --> 01:00:20,542 Uh, where the fuck is everyone? 1081 01:00:21,542 --> 01:00:23,792 We gonna rumble or what? 1082 01:00:37,125 --> 01:00:40,582 Hey, governor! 1083 01:00:40,583 --> 01:00:42,416 Sit down, you fat fuck! 1084 01:00:42,417 --> 01:00:44,374 This is mother hen calling all stations. 1085 01:00:44,375 --> 01:00:46,916 - Check in. - All clear on my end. 1086 01:00:46,917 --> 01:00:49,207 Back passage ready for action. 1087 01:00:49,208 --> 01:00:51,749 I bought a balloon 1088 01:00:55,708 --> 01:00:58,792 Nobody teabags Abraham Van rental! 1089 01:01:13,208 --> 01:01:14,917 I haven't thought this through! 1090 01:01:19,917 --> 01:01:21,125 Oh, shit! 1091 01:01:22,958 --> 01:01:25,167 Feel my shaft, ungodly swine! 1092 01:01:31,833 --> 01:01:33,666 Where is a pig's liver anyway? 1093 01:01:33,667 --> 01:01:36,332 Will you just fucking die?! 1094 01:02:05,500 --> 01:02:07,249 Smoky bacon! 1095 01:02:28,792 --> 01:02:30,832 - Who are these guys? - And now, ladies and gentlemen. 1096 01:02:30,833 --> 01:02:32,374 Keep your nut down, darling. 1097 01:02:32,375 --> 01:02:36,207 The world famous coco and his bunch of clowns! 1098 01:02:47,417 --> 01:02:49,375 You bastards! 1099 01:02:52,376 --> 01:02:54,250 Ah. There's the rabble. 1100 01:02:57,458 --> 01:02:59,082 We're not going to make it in time! 1101 01:02:59,083 --> 01:03:01,167 I need to get hold of Jack somehow. 1102 01:03:02,750 --> 01:03:03,874 I got a phone! 1103 01:03:08,125 --> 01:03:09,457 Schitt here. 1104 01:03:09,458 --> 01:03:11,166 Captain, it's steel. Listen to me. 1105 01:03:11,167 --> 01:03:13,249 You've got to get the governor away from the circus! 1106 01:03:13,250 --> 01:03:15,332 What the hell are you talking about, steel? 1107 01:03:15,333 --> 01:03:16,791 Is the cheese plant with you? 1108 01:03:16,792 --> 01:03:18,249 - He didn't make it. - That's it steel! 1109 01:03:18,250 --> 01:03:20,291 You're officially on suspension as of now. 1110 01:03:20,292 --> 01:03:22,916 Now would you just shut up a second, you big fruit! 1111 01:03:22,917 --> 01:03:24,457 The shrink who's been messing with your head. 1112 01:03:24,458 --> 01:03:26,582 She's the leader of a group of vampire bums 1113 01:03:26,583 --> 01:03:29,416 called trampires and she's heading your way to kill the governor. 1114 01:03:29,417 --> 01:03:30,832 The shrink was right. 1115 01:03:30,833 --> 01:03:33,166 You've finally gone over the edge, steel! 1116 01:03:33,167 --> 01:03:35,332 Now if you don't mind I'm trying to watch the funny looking tramp clowns. 1117 01:03:35,333 --> 01:03:36,707 They've got pies and everything. 1118 01:03:36,708 --> 01:03:38,250 What did you say? 1119 01:03:38,292 --> 01:03:39,832 - I said they've got pies and... - No, the clowns! 1120 01:03:39,833 --> 01:03:41,332 What did you call them? 1121 01:03:41,333 --> 01:03:42,832 Tramps. You know, more Charlie chaplin 1122 01:03:42,833 --> 01:03:44,457 than Ronald McDonald. 1123 01:03:44,458 --> 01:03:46,124 Oh, my god! 1124 01:03:46,125 --> 01:03:47,957 You've got to get the governor out of there, captain! 1125 01:03:47,958 --> 01:03:49,416 - Ca ptain! - Steel? 1126 01:03:49,417 --> 01:03:51,042 Goddamn piece of shit! 1127 01:03:51,750 --> 01:03:52,875 Oh! 1128 01:04:08,583 --> 01:04:10,000 You asshole! 1129 01:04:22,458 --> 01:04:24,208 Is this a European circus? 1130 01:04:50,375 --> 01:04:52,042 Ooh, I've got the d.T.'S 1131 01:05:09,417 --> 01:05:10,499 Oh, bollocks! 1132 01:05:10,500 --> 01:05:11,500 Huh? 1133 01:05:12,583 --> 01:05:14,417 Yep. Definitely French. 1134 01:05:19,125 --> 01:05:20,457 It's a dude! 1135 01:05:20,458 --> 01:05:22,707 Bring me the puritan! 1136 01:05:25,625 --> 01:05:26,875 Huh? 1137 01:05:31,833 --> 01:05:33,875 Cameras. 1138 01:05:40,375 --> 01:05:42,332 I'm ready for my next session, doc. 1139 01:05:42,333 --> 01:05:43,957 No! 1140 01:05:45,208 --> 01:05:46,625 Yes! 1141 01:05:58,250 --> 01:06:00,417 Oh! 1142 01:06:22,875 --> 01:06:25,457 We cannot be stopped by just one man! 1143 01:06:25,458 --> 01:06:28,124 That's okay. I don't work alone! 1144 01:06:39,250 --> 01:06:40,333 Fire! 1145 01:07:01,042 --> 01:07:02,832 Sir, we have to get you out of here now! 1146 01:07:36,042 --> 01:07:37,208 Out of my way! 1147 01:08:01,792 --> 01:08:02,833 Huh? 1148 01:08:08,708 --> 01:08:10,332 Welcome to the party, doc. 1149 01:08:10,333 --> 01:08:12,958 - I've got a splitting headache. - Me, too! 1150 01:08:17,667 --> 01:08:18,750 Huh? 1151 01:08:33,292 --> 01:08:34,499 Is it safe? 1152 01:08:37,792 --> 01:08:39,833 Is it safe? Is it fuck! 1153 01:08:44,958 --> 01:08:46,125 Huh? 1154 01:08:49,958 --> 01:08:51,375 Come on! 1155 01:09:37,792 --> 01:09:39,125 Protect the governor! 1156 01:09:44,750 --> 01:09:46,042 Hang on. 1157 01:10:09,875 --> 01:10:10,999 Ow! 1158 01:10:12,083 --> 01:10:14,167 Oh, god. What have I done? 1159 01:10:17,125 --> 01:10:18,333 Maloney! 1160 01:10:22,667 --> 01:10:23,791 Fuck off 1161 01:10:31,333 --> 01:10:32,957 Hold on, maloney! 1162 01:10:32,958 --> 01:10:35,291 Don't you die on me! You big dumb son of a bitch. 1163 01:10:35,292 --> 01:10:37,291 Do me a favor, captain. 1164 01:10:37,292 --> 01:10:38,957 Tell my wife... 1165 01:10:38,958 --> 01:10:40,916 Tell her I never really loved her. 1166 01:10:40,917 --> 01:10:44,124 I only married her to get close to her sister. 1167 01:10:44,125 --> 01:10:46,041 Will you do that for me, sir? 1168 01:10:46,042 --> 01:10:48,041 You can tell her yourself, maloney. 1169 01:10:48,042 --> 01:10:50,124 I don't think so sir. 1170 01:11:09,250 --> 01:11:10,458 Flaps! 1171 01:11:16,125 --> 01:11:18,208 Harry? Is that you? 1172 01:11:23,125 --> 01:11:24,917 God, please don't let me die. 1173 01:11:26,542 --> 01:11:28,125 Tally ho! 1174 01:11:44,125 --> 01:11:45,333 Bollocks. 1175 01:11:50,250 --> 01:11:52,541 Don't you know who I am? 1176 01:11:52,542 --> 01:11:53,958 He don't know Jack shit! 1177 01:11:55,083 --> 01:11:56,291 He does now! 1178 01:12:08,250 --> 01:12:10,374 Ah! 1179 01:12:10,375 --> 01:12:11,500 Huh? 1180 01:12:13,458 --> 01:12:14,999 Good to have you back, captain. 1181 01:12:16,458 --> 01:12:17,874 Those lace panties were giving me thrush. 1182 01:12:17,875 --> 01:12:18,875 Huh? 1183 01:12:32,583 --> 01:12:34,124 What the hell is going on? 1184 01:12:34,125 --> 01:12:35,541 Who are these people? 1185 01:12:35,542 --> 01:12:37,749 We're the unwashed masses, Mr. Governor. 1186 01:12:37,750 --> 01:12:39,874 And you owe us big time. 1187 01:12:39,875 --> 01:12:41,292 Ain't that right, stretch? 1188 01:12:42,583 --> 01:12:44,249 Another one for the nest egg! 1189 01:12:47,583 --> 01:12:49,291 Ugh! 1190 01:12:51,875 --> 01:12:53,708 Oh, stretch. 1191 01:12:59,250 --> 01:13:00,791 No! 1192 01:13:12,708 --> 01:13:14,666 She can't be still alive! 1193 01:13:14,667 --> 01:13:16,957 I emptied a clip of wood-tipped bullets into her liver! 1194 01:13:16,958 --> 01:13:19,916 You have to use three methods within a 15-minute window. 1195 01:13:19,917 --> 01:13:20,957 Remember? 1196 01:13:20,958 --> 01:13:23,125 Join us! 1197 01:13:26,958 --> 01:13:28,374 Get the governor out of here! I'll hold her off! 1198 01:13:28,375 --> 01:13:30,249 - Are you crazy? - He's not crazy. 1199 01:13:30,250 --> 01:13:32,332 He's the best goddamn cop on the force. 1200 01:13:32,333 --> 01:13:34,082 He's also the chosen one. 1201 01:13:34,083 --> 01:13:36,792 Of course. That's why you have such a big penis! 1202 01:13:37,958 --> 01:13:39,624 I'm just a cop! 1203 01:13:39,625 --> 01:13:42,166 Now get the hell out of here and let me do my job. 1204 01:13:42,167 --> 01:13:43,374 Oh, no. 1205 01:13:43,375 --> 01:13:44,832 The elixir has worn off. 1206 01:13:44,833 --> 01:13:46,500 The transformation is upon you. 1207 01:13:52,375 --> 01:13:54,833 Oh, my... god! 1208 01:14:01,458 --> 01:14:03,541 That's got to be the grossest thing I've ever seen. 1209 01:14:03,542 --> 01:14:05,124 And I've got hemorrhoids! 1210 01:14:05,125 --> 01:14:06,332 Go! Now! 1211 01:14:06,333 --> 01:14:07,749 You heard the man, schitt! 1212 01:14:07,750 --> 01:14:09,208 Get me out of here! 1213 01:14:12,250 --> 01:14:13,707 Hold on, Chuck! 1214 01:14:13,708 --> 01:14:15,791 There's still time to save your soul! 1215 01:14:15,792 --> 01:14:17,374 Try to hold on to your... 1216 01:14:19,000 --> 01:14:20,749 Humanity. 1217 01:14:20,750 --> 01:14:22,417 Oh, rat's cocks! 1218 01:14:36,417 --> 01:14:38,957 Sober up, Satan spawn! 1219 01:14:40,583 --> 01:14:43,625 That's two out of three, you sepulchral harlot! 1220 01:14:48,292 --> 01:14:49,833 Are we leaving or what?! 1221 01:15:17,292 --> 01:15:20,582 You are making a big mistake lady! 1222 01:15:20,583 --> 01:15:24,041 Foolish mortal! 1223 01:15:24,042 --> 01:15:25,958 That's where you're wrong! 1224 01:15:43,667 --> 01:15:44,792 Huh? 1225 01:16:13,333 --> 01:16:14,916 What the hell is happening now!? 1226 01:16:14,917 --> 01:16:16,332 You got me. 1227 01:16:16,333 --> 01:16:18,250 The scrolls never mentioned this shit. 1228 01:16:39,375 --> 01:16:41,375 I told you he was a fucking lizard! 1229 01:16:58,958 --> 01:17:01,416 This is our world! 1230 01:17:01,417 --> 01:17:02,957 Never! 1231 01:17:18,583 --> 01:17:21,167 Chuck! We still have to protect the puritan! 1232 01:17:21,208 --> 01:17:23,708 Even if he is a giant lizard! 1233 01:17:37,125 --> 01:17:39,082 Harryhausen! 1234 01:17:44,125 --> 01:17:46,375 Will you keep still, you greasy freak?! 1235 01:17:55,417 --> 01:17:57,417 Mother fucking lasers!? 1236 01:18:00,042 --> 01:18:01,792 Oh, give me a fucking break! 1237 01:18:02,750 --> 01:18:04,291 Have no fear! 1238 01:18:04,292 --> 01:18:06,374 The chosen one is here! 1239 01:18:06,375 --> 01:18:07,875 Hello. 1240 01:18:41,875 --> 01:18:44,167 Reminds me of my wedding night. 1241 01:19:05,833 --> 01:19:07,458 No! It cannot be! 1242 01:19:17,167 --> 01:19:18,833 That's strike three, bitch! 1243 01:19:25,417 --> 01:19:26,750 Time to die. 1244 01:19:28,208 --> 01:19:29,707 Huh? Maybe not! 1245 01:19:41,208 --> 01:19:42,750 Chuck, catch! 1246 01:19:50,125 --> 01:19:51,958 Now I'm agitated! 1247 01:20:18,542 --> 01:20:19,874 Come on! 1248 01:20:34,208 --> 01:20:36,458 This schitt's getting too old for this shit! 1249 01:20:38,417 --> 01:20:39,999 Huh? 1250 01:20:40,000 --> 01:20:41,707 - Chuck? - Lucy? 1251 01:20:41,708 --> 01:20:43,041 Awkward. 1252 01:20:47,792 --> 01:20:49,166 Oh, shit! 1253 01:21:03,708 --> 01:21:05,250 Whoa! Giant lizard! 1254 01:21:09,792 --> 01:21:11,124 Doc, are you okay? 1255 01:21:11,125 --> 01:21:13,041 Uh, I think so. 1256 01:21:18,833 --> 01:21:20,374 Now that the mistress is vanquished, 1257 01:21:20,375 --> 01:21:22,249 you can kill that asshole! 1258 01:21:22,250 --> 01:21:25,124 And how exactly do you kill a big fucking lizard, doc? 1259 01:21:25,125 --> 01:21:26,958 With big fucking bullets! 1260 01:21:29,167 --> 01:21:30,582 Ooh, yeah! 1261 01:21:33,625 --> 01:21:35,500 Chew on this, you alien mother! 1262 01:21:38,500 --> 01:21:40,292 Hang on, schitts! 1263 01:21:52,667 --> 01:21:54,332 It's nothing personal. 1264 01:21:54,333 --> 01:21:58,042 I'm just trying to make this world a better place! 1265 01:22:00,750 --> 01:22:02,875 Yo! Fish lips! 1266 01:22:04,458 --> 01:22:06,167 I'm ready when you are! 1267 01:22:16,292 --> 01:22:17,292 Huh? 1268 01:22:17,293 --> 01:22:19,291 Bye-bye. 1269 01:22:19,292 --> 01:22:20,833 Oh, come on! 1270 01:22:26,208 --> 01:22:27,667 Oh, no, you don't. 1271 01:22:30,250 --> 01:22:31,792 Die! 1272 01:22:40,625 --> 01:22:42,625 Come here, you little shit! 1273 01:22:47,458 --> 01:22:49,958 You scaly son of a bitch! 1274 01:22:52,833 --> 01:22:54,583 It ends here, harridan! 1275 01:23:04,375 --> 01:23:06,374 Oh, yeah! 1276 01:23:06,375 --> 01:23:08,457 Eat my justice! 1277 01:23:12,583 --> 01:23:14,125 Liver let die! 1278 01:23:20,792 --> 01:23:22,583 I hate politics. 1279 01:23:43,875 --> 01:23:46,791 Authorities are baffled by tonight's events 1280 01:23:46,792 --> 01:23:49,749 and are still unaware of the location of governor atkins. 1281 01:23:49,750 --> 01:23:52,208 Rescue teams have failed to locate a body... 1282 01:23:57,417 --> 01:23:58,750 Lucy. 1283 01:24:08,375 --> 01:24:09,582 Are you okay? 1284 01:24:09,583 --> 01:24:11,166 You look ...Different. 1285 01:24:11,167 --> 01:24:13,957 Yeah. I guess when you work with custard all day 1286 01:24:13,958 --> 01:24:14,958 something's got to give. 1287 01:24:14,959 --> 01:24:16,457 Oi! She's happy now! 1288 01:24:16,458 --> 01:24:18,207 So bugger off, you lanky twat! 1289 01:24:18,208 --> 01:24:19,499 Button it, munchkin! 1290 01:24:19,500 --> 01:24:20,874 I know how to treat her right! 1291 01:24:20,875 --> 01:24:22,374 I give her what she needs! 1292 01:24:22,375 --> 01:24:23,499 What, low shelving? 1293 01:24:23,500 --> 01:24:24,874 Up yours, blondie! 1294 01:24:24,875 --> 01:24:26,499 For god's sake, stop it! 1295 01:24:26,500 --> 01:24:27,874 I can't take this! 1296 01:24:27,875 --> 01:24:30,041 Sorry. Just tell me one thing. 1297 01:24:30,042 --> 01:24:32,582 Did you really mean all those things you said in your letter? 1298 01:24:32,583 --> 01:24:34,499 What are you talking about? 1299 01:24:34,500 --> 01:24:35,791 I didn't leave any letter. 1300 01:24:35,792 --> 01:24:37,291 Ah, that may have been me. 1301 01:24:37,292 --> 01:24:38,624 Well, we couldn't just leave without saying 1302 01:24:38,625 --> 01:24:40,333 goodbye now, could we? 1303 01:24:42,542 --> 01:24:44,250 Excuse me a second. 1304 01:24:47,333 --> 01:24:49,624 You want some of this do you? Come on then. 1305 01:24:49,625 --> 01:24:51,208 Yeah! I'll do you from in 'ere! 1306 01:24:55,875 --> 01:24:56,957 Fuck you! 1307 01:25:00,417 --> 01:25:02,624 Sorry. I had no idea he had done that. 1308 01:25:02,625 --> 01:25:06,124 So does this mean I wasn't a complete washout as a husband? 1309 01:25:06,125 --> 01:25:08,124 Of course, you weren't. 1310 01:25:08,125 --> 01:25:10,041 You just never understood what it meant to me 1311 01:25:10,042 --> 01:25:13,124 to make balloon animals and pour custard down my pants. 1312 01:25:13,125 --> 01:25:15,041 And I couldn't expect you to. 1313 01:25:15,042 --> 01:25:16,582 I could've changed. 1314 01:25:16,583 --> 01:25:18,542 I started wearing bigger shoes 1315 01:25:22,083 --> 01:25:24,166 Face it, Chuck, you work... 1316 01:25:24,167 --> 01:25:25,750 Alone. 1317 01:25:50,833 --> 01:25:52,082 There he is! 1318 01:25:52,083 --> 01:25:53,457 That's the man! 1319 01:25:53,458 --> 01:25:55,041 He's the imposter! 1320 01:25:55,042 --> 01:25:56,208 Stop him! 1321 01:26:11,292 --> 01:26:12,916 Ah! He's gone nuts! 1322 01:26:12,917 --> 01:26:16,666 Steel! 1323 01:26:16,667 --> 01:26:19,124 I'll expect the paperwork on my desk in the morning. 1324 01:26:19,125 --> 01:26:20,750 Go fuck yourself. 1325 01:26:27,083 --> 01:26:30,082 I could've fired him. 1326 01:26:30,083 --> 01:26:32,374 Well, that was jolly good fun wasn't it? 1327 01:26:32,375 --> 01:26:34,124 Yeah, right. 1328 01:26:34,125 --> 01:26:36,124 There's bound to be more of those lizards out there. 1329 01:26:36,125 --> 01:26:38,207 Also, I'm not sure if I've mentioned this 1330 01:26:38,208 --> 01:26:40,166 but there is an equally deadly force out there 1331 01:26:40,167 --> 01:26:41,541 that must be thwarted. 1332 01:26:41,542 --> 01:26:43,750 You have heard of werewolves, no? 1333 01:26:44,750 --> 01:26:45,916 Sure. 1334 01:26:45,917 --> 01:26:47,457 But have you ever heard of... 1335 01:26:47,458 --> 01:26:50,042 Werewolf prostitutes? 1336 01:26:51,333 --> 01:26:53,041 Or whorewolves, if you will. 1337 01:26:53,042 --> 01:26:54,583 They're bloody everywhere! 1338 01:26:56,542 --> 01:26:58,124 Face or balls! 1339 01:26:58,125 --> 01:26:59,541 Oh, flaps. 1340 01:27:09,125 --> 01:27:11,625 I spend forever tryin' to figure it out I 1341 01:27:12,958 --> 01:27:15,333 I tryin' to find an escape I 1342 01:27:17,083 --> 01:27:20,332 I working every little hustle you can to try I 1343 01:27:20,333 --> 01:27:23,167 I get an even rate I 1344 01:27:25,083 --> 01:27:28,999 I you believe in all the promises I 1345 01:27:29,000 --> 01:27:31,624 I where are you now? I 1346 01:27:31,625 --> 01:27:34,374 I you're just iivin' I 1347 01:27:34,375 --> 01:27:36,457 I on the knife edge I 1348 01:27:36,458 --> 01:27:39,832 I oh, it somehow don't seem right I 1349 01:27:39,833 --> 01:27:45,166 I it's a high wire act on the rough time I 1350 01:27:45,167 --> 01:27:47,792 I survival through the night I 1351 01:27:55,958 --> 01:27:59,749 I spend whatever little money you have I 1352 01:27:59,750 --> 01:28:02,208 I just stayin' alive I 1353 01:28:04,125 --> 01:28:08,291 I buy the key that unlocks the door you do I 1354 01:28:08,292 --> 01:28:10,417 I more than survive I 1355 01:28:12,167 --> 01:28:15,041 I but you listen to all the promises I 1356 01:28:15,042 --> 01:28:16,457 I promises I 1357 01:28:16,458 --> 01:28:19,000 I where are you now? I 1358 01:28:19,042 --> 01:28:21,416 I you're just iivin' I 1359 01:28:21,417 --> 01:28:23,624 I on the knife edge I 1360 01:28:23,625 --> 01:28:27,791 I oh, it somehow don't seem right I 1361 01:28:27,792 --> 01:28:32,249 I it's a high wire act on the rough time I 1362 01:28:32,250 --> 01:28:34,958 I survival through the night I 1363 01:28:36,625 --> 01:28:40,707 I now, nobody said life was gonna be easy I 1364 01:28:40,708 --> 01:28:44,124 I and nobody said it was fair I 1365 01:28:44,125 --> 01:28:46,499 I I only know I 1366 01:28:46,500 --> 01:28:48,582 I there's just one answer I 1367 01:28:48,583 --> 01:28:50,874 I just put the wind I 1368 01:28:50,875 --> 01:28:54,208 I put the wind in our hair I 1369 01:29:13,958 --> 01:29:16,458 I you believe in all the promises I 1370 01:29:18,125 --> 01:29:20,458 I where are you now? I 1371 01:29:28,542 --> 01:29:31,124 I you're just iivin' I 1372 01:29:31,125 --> 01:29:33,124 I on the knife edge I 1373 01:29:33,125 --> 01:29:36,125 I oh, it somehow don't seem right I 1374 01:29:37,458 --> 01:29:39,374 I it's a high wire act I 1375 01:29:39,375 --> 01:29:41,582 I on the rough time I 1376 01:29:41,583 --> 01:29:44,625 I survival through the night I 1377 01:29:49,875 --> 01:29:52,833 I survival through the night I 1378 01:29:58,208 --> 01:30:01,791 I survival through the night I 1379 01:30:01,792 --> 01:30:03,833 I survival I 1380 01:30:06,500 --> 01:30:09,250 I survival through the night I 1381 01:30:14,500 --> 01:30:16,707 I survival through the night I 1382 01:30:16,708 --> 01:30:19,833 I survival I